On Tue Jan 16 01:07:34 2007 (ZULU), Gord wrote:

Last login through the misk.com gateway. It'll take some time to migrate things over to the new site, and hey, let me tell you this for free: Most of it ain't migrating. Most of it's going in the trash. Bye.

Who wants Sketch-O-Matic back?

Is it just me?

I will say this: You didn't pretend to be each other nearly as much as I anticipated you would. You made me prood.

On Sun Jan 14 16:44:51 2007 (ZULU), Our friend Jesus wrote:

You may experience some technical difficulties in the near future. Don't blame me. I'm sick of it. You people really are a pain in the ass.

On Thu Jan 11 05:03:45 2007 (ZULU), Our friend Harper wrote:

Approximate number of troops being deployed to Iraq: 21,000

Approximate number of ACTRA members: 21,000

On Tue Jan 9 21:52:42 2007 (ZULU), Our friend Gordi Tanno wrote:

That reminds me of an old Indian saying: "No."

On Mon Jan 8 19:31:34 2007 (ZULU), Chris wrote:

...Laverne?

On Sun Jan 7 09:26:51 2007 (ZULU), Our friend Gordon Tanner wrote:

Hey. Read. Who the FUCK do you think you are?

Do you know who I am?

I'll give you a hint. I have a dazzling smile and a taste for the livers. It's a trick. It's a TRICK! Don't fall for it Read! Pull thyself UP and OUT of thy interregnum.

On Sat Jan 6 19:41:24 2007 (ZULU), Chris wrote:

...uh-oh, Daddy's acting funny.

On Sat Jan 6 04:27:15 2007 (ZULU), Our friend Gordon Tanner wrote:

Oh Dear, what is the address to my website? I'm ever so vexed! How will I ever get work on Falcon Beach - again? I'm now wearing more yellow. Yellow Yellow Yellow Yellow Jump Jump Jump!

On Tue Dec 26 06:22:24 2006 (ZULU), Gord wrote:

Does Gord bless you? Every one.
Merrrrrr-y Christmas!

On Wed Dec 20 23:48:32 2006 (ZULU), Chris wrote:

Yeah isn't that grand - our boy done good. TC- you still having that party you were talking about? We can all get together and hang with Coops jr.

On Tue Dec 19 21:18:39 2006 (ZULU), Gord wrote:

Scotty made the cover of the Free Press TV Guide! With a boxing glove! And Brad Oswald came all over the show! Hoopah!!

On Tue Dec 5 06:39:21 2006 (ZULU), Chris wrote:

...and holy krap, Joan Jett just rawked out on Conan O'Brien. She's still got it, kids.

On Tue Dec 5 00:51:11 2006 (ZULU), Chris wrote:

Have you noticed, culture-nauts, that The Killers are emerging as the confident new American cocksmen of rock sexuality?

On Mon Nov 27 23:20:10 2006 (ZULU), Our friend nonny wrote:

I shall not comment on your blog if I can't be anonymous.

On Mon Nov 27 21:21:19 2006 (ZULU), Chris wrote:

If anyone's interested in seeing what my Grotesqua comic-book looks like - go here.

On Wed Nov 15 18:29:08 2006 (ZULU), Our friend Slade wrote:

Thanks, Mike. Truly brilliant. And nauseating. Makes you wonder if the little git ever got a job. Loved the wandering eye. Oh, and Constible - if you decide to make a baby get the recipe and make one at home. The snap-tite construction kits are terrible. You can always see the seams. Cheers.

On Fri Nov 3 04:56:37 2006 (ZULU), Mike wrote:

Please see the link for the full Atene genius. And Trish...you did it! I love you.

On Wed Nov 1 18:17:47 2006 (ZULU), Chris wrote:

If you haven't seen this yet - you need to [thank you Mike Bell]: http://www.panopticist.com/archives/221.html

On Tue Oct 31 16:47:26 2006 (ZULU), Chris wrote:

Ah yes - everyone wants babies. Glenn Beck says we need to start out-breeding the enemies of freedom. We need to breed soldier-babies for Armageddon - which will be here any day it would seem. "Soldier Babies for Armageddon" is the name of our come-back show, by the way. No, Sarah - I haven't seen Heroes. I take it you likey? What's happened to Studio 60 - did they cancel it, the bastards - it wasn't on - NFL football instead.

On Tue Oct 31 03:30:13 2006 (ZULU), Trish wrote:

Make one Make one! I hope your baby would nt be a big smarty pants cynical know it all.. not that you guys are but a combo of both of you might end up a little to smart for its own good. But Baby constible would be so cute and funny. Do it! dO it!

On Mon Oct 30 01:12:57 2006 (ZULU), Our friend 'Nother Mother Mary wrote:

Sarah, I saw that goofy look in the photo of you with Baby Cooper. If you and Rob are thinking of making a playmate for her, perhaps you should get started, so the kid will have time to ride a bike & play a musical instrument before 2012.

On Fri Oct 27 04:08:09 2006 (ZULU), Sarah wrote:

I'm enjoying Chris' updates. I wonder what he'll write about next. Has he seen Heroes? I wonder.

I met Cooper Cooper today. Long legged gal, that one. We sat around eating butter chicken and watching Trish breast feed. Too many delights to mention.

On Thu Oct 26 18:01:51 2006 (ZULU), Chris wrote:

In other news - 30 Rock is very good. Alec Baldwin has hit a new high water mark. Hilarious, surreal, joyful stuff...Check'er out kids.

On Tue Oct 24 15:50:24 2006 (ZULU), Chris wrote:

I hate seeing my posts languish - unresponded to. So - I'll add another. I just wanted to say - hey, how about that new Killers single When You Were Young? I likey. These guys are , as our Sabotage buds would say, in fine form. You've been waiting for the next great British pop rock group? Well they're here, be-a-tches. Seacrest out.

On Wed Oct 18 16:19:09 2006 (ZULU), Chris wrote:

Tricia has given birth to a highly developed, beautiful, super-intelligence named Cooper - who capably delivers prolonged, strenuous farts into your lap if you hold her. Tricia's outdone us all - you think that sketch/play/comedy show you wrote was pretty good? - Well, T made a BABY! A new being!

On Fri Oct 13 21:14:41 2006 (ZULU), Chris wrote:

Coops did a good. Good job Coops.

On Fri Oct 13 16:47:05 2006 (ZULU), Our friend Mother Mary wrote:

C'mon, 'Nother Mother, read the log. The name is Cooper, heir to all that is Liechtenstein. Lucky gal.

On Thu Oct 12 21:33:07 2006 (ZULU), Our friend 'Nother Mother Mary wrote:

Good going, Trish, you're only one day short of Sarah's kid brother's b'day. I have to agree with Null Device --Librans Rule! (Will we learn the first name soon?)

On Thu Oct 12 10:04:57 2006 (ZULU), Our friend Slade wrote:

OK, a) What am/have I been warned of? That Cooper's fertile? That you would call the child Finbar? What? I'm all in a quandry. And 2) I bow before the bright and chirruppy Finbar! Long may she spack on her mother's shoulder and squirt her furious excrement while being changed! Long may she keep her parents up at night, and may the fury of her teething know no bounds. And may she light the world with her child like beauty and innocence and may we all do what we can to make the world a better place for her. Congrats, Tish. Your world will never be the same. It just got better.

On Wed Oct 11 04:45:04 2006 (ZULU), Our friend Null Device wrote:

Well congratulation Tricia - it's so nice that you scheduled the birth on my birthday!! All hail Librans!!

On Wed Oct 11 03:43:44 2006 (ZULU), Our friend Cammy Cakes wrote:

It's true. The wee lass arrived and the world will never be the same. I saw things and I will never be the same. Tricia and Sam make good, sturdy, beautiful babies. All hail Baby Cooper! Bless her and all who sail in her...

On Tue Oct 10 02:53:16 2006 (ZULU), Gord wrote:

Let the word go out from the unread log of Liechtenstein: Cooper has pushed out the baby! And it is a girl baby! And the name of the baby is Cooper! (Yes. The baby's name is Cooper, but we shall call it Finbar!) Love and felicitations to the mother and father of the baby, Finbar. And woe betide those who love not Finbar, the first baby born unto the people of Liechtenstein.

Slade, don't say we didn't warn you.

On Wed Sep 27 22:08:35 2006 (ZULU), Chris wrote:

The epicenter... Ah yes. I was there once. Summer of '88. I'd say we kicked some ass - remember boys? Boys? huh...? what the...? where am i? By the way - have y'all checked out Terrorstorm? It's widely available online.

On Wed Sep 27 17:29:00 2006 (ZULU), Sarah wrote:

I saw it. Maybe I was tired. Maybe I was too far from the epicentre.

On Fri Sep 22 16:12:37 2006 (ZULU), Chris wrote:

Last night's The Office was a fuckin' A-bomb explosion of surreal comedic ecstasy. One of my best TV-watching experiences ever. Anyone else see it?

On Mon Sep 4 21:43:32 2006 (ZULU), Our friend Slade wrote:

Damn, Constible! You're going to be my Daughter? Hmmmm. Well, I certainly haven't any objections to that. Have you told the boy yet? Have you told Mr. McLaughlines yet? Welcome to the family. My other Daughter thinks you're way damned cool, so you won't get any static from her. Yay. Sarah's going to be my.... kid?!

On Sat Aug 26 16:06:15 2006 (ZULU), Sarah wrote:

Slade - I have dancing lessons with your son on Monday - we're getting married!

On Mon Aug 21 18:12:20 2006 (ZULU), Our friend Slade wrote:

Woa! That's like a total confirmation, dudette. So you are knocked up?! Congratumalations! Fingers crossed that it's all good and happy and healthy for you all the way! And, ummm if you weren't, you'd be chasing my children? Eeeeew. You're going to be a mom, you can't add Paedophile to that title. It really rings alarm bells with the pre-natal unit. "Hi, I'm Tish Looper and I'm a Paedophile Mother To Be. Can I have my ultrasound now?" Still and all, delighted to hear you have love. And have had love to the point of pregnancy. Yay for Trish!

On Sun Aug 20 04:56:04 2006 (ZULU), Trish wrote:

Jesus is Magic is hilarious! Go see it, its may be my favorite movie of the year. Mother Mary You really like Finbar? slade Congrats on all the big movies, your children are so grown up now, and so good looking.i tell ya if i wasn't knocked up an in love...

On Wed Aug 2 23:40:27 2006 (ZULU), Our friend Slade wrote:

Uh, is this merely an ongoing chuckle, or is our little Tish actually enceinte? Updates: Will be in Casino Royale (unless you blink), and a documentary about Billy the Kid (unless you blink) and a new rom-com tentatively called Right Hand Drive (unless you're epileptic). Work, work, work. There are no complaints, compadres. Have y'all fringed? How good was it? Am I like, Persona Non Grata? No email, peoples. Get on it.

On Mon Jul 17 19:16:50 2006 (ZULU), Sarah wrote:

But Trish hates Brian F. Not the name, the person. He's her nemesis.

On Mon Jul 10 17:20:49 2006 (ZULU), Our friend cary wrote:

Finbar scrambled is: Brian F. So you have the first name...and the middle initial!

On Thu Jul 6 19:26:31 2006 (ZULU), Our friend 'Nother Mother Mary wrote:

Hey Trish! Congrats, take your vitamins and have fun. But whatcha got against the name Finbar? You could run it backwards and use "Bnif" for short.

On Wed Jul 5 20:16:20 2006 (ZULU), Our friend Mother Mary wrote:

So, Trish, how magical was Jesus? I've heard good things.

On Mon Jul 3 06:59:31 2006 (ZULU), Trish wrote:

I am going to that tomorrow night, but I do want to see An Inconvenint truth just because gore gets me all horned up. one word. Jagger.

On Sun Jul 2 18:11:39 2006 (ZULU), Sarah wrote:

Well, Mother, I've seen neither movie, but I'm going to say Jesus is Magic.

On Sun Jul 2 01:55:04 2006 (ZULU), Our friend Mother Mary wrote:

Quite contrary.

On Sat Jul 1 19:50:52 2006 (ZULU), Sarah wrote:

Is that MY Mother Mary?

On Sat Jul 1 02:48:32 2006 (ZULU), Our friend Mother Mary wrote:

This weekend: An Inconvenient Truth, or Jesus is Magic?

On Thu Jun 29 22:47:51 2006 (ZULU), Our friend Null Device wrote:

????????? ????????? ?????????

On Wed Jun 28 15:27:06 2006 (ZULU), Gord wrote:

People...one word... Jagger.
JAGGER, Johnson? Jagger?

On Mon Jun 19 17:54:37 2006 (ZULU), Our friend So You Think You're Funny? wrote:

Only if you work harder than The TEEMING MASSES of amateur comedy writers on the information superhighway...

On Tue Jun 6 14:49:49 2006 (ZULU), Sarah wrote:

Set up:
Q: Why does Stephen Harper want to re-open the equal marriage debate?

Please submit your punchlines to: THE LOG at rltc.ca. Entries accepted until the whole women voting issue starts up again.

On Mon May 29 13:31:06 2006 (ZULU), Our friend Claire wrote:

Principal Richard Vernon just bought himself a final Saturday.

On Sat May 27 04:28:26 2006 (ZULU), Sarah wrote:

Slade's right. Trish, don't name your baby Hole.

On Fri May 26 21:07:04 2006 (ZULU), Our friend Slade wrote:

I rather think the name "Hole" has been tainted by the band of the same name. And the Hole who leads them. Still, I am perplexed - is Trish having the baby of a celebrity, or is her child going to be a celebrity even whilst it is still an baby? Personally, I would like something more alliterative. Like "Trooper Cooper" or "Blooper Cooper" (especially if it was an unplanned baby) or maybe "Hoober Bloop Cooper" as an homage to Dr. Seuss.

On Thu May 25 16:35:05 2006 (ZULU), Our friend Mayor of Casterbridge wrote:

You rang?

Thomas "Rob" Hardy

On Wed May 24 16:39:25 2006 (ZULU), Sarah wrote:

I don't know... isn't that Rob Hardy's pen name?

On Wed May 24 04:07:18 2006 (ZULU), Gord wrote:

I vote for Hole Hardily. It's got a ring to it... And the cat's in the cradle and... it's eaten the baby. Nooooo!!!! Hoooooolllle!!!

On Tue May 23 21:41:03 2006 (ZULU), Sarah wrote:

Actually, they're all possible names for Trish's celebrity baby.

On Tue May 23 21:34:48 2006 (ZULU), Our friend Slade wrote:

Well, Ms. Constable. I thought that all of those frazes, to parachutephase Mr. Tanner, did not kut the mousturd. OR is the thing they all have in common that you have used them all while filling out government forms? OR have various peoples used them all on you as pick up lines? I still don't have a gig. Lots of auditions, no gig. The difference between living there and living here is: in Winnipeg, I could make about four phone calls, talk to four artistic directors and quickly find out that I have no work for the next season. Then call McJobs and look for something in "Customer Service" - which is where I am told people like me belong. Now I get to audition for huge west end shows that run for months (as an understudy), giant world wide commercials (that I don't get) and cool film and television projects that will be filmed in various cool places around Europe (and not get them). Same result, huge effort. Not that I'm complaining. Nope. Hell, I had to move to London to get my first audition for Disney. Yep. Haven't heard "boo" from them. But, I get to ride the tube way out west for an audition for a cowboy flick. Yep. Other than that. Umm. not too much. My bad. So, what all are y'all ups too? At.

On Mon May 22 23:51:33 2006 (ZULU), Gord wrote:

None of them cut the mustard.

On Mon May 22 16:19:13 2006 (ZULU), Sarah wrote:

What do these have in common?


Beg and call
Heroine addict
Whole hardily
Of coarse
Baited breath
without further adieu
for all intensive purposes
Bare in mind
Hard harded
enact revenge on
on tenderhooks
right of passage

On Sun May 21 15:34:48 2006 (ZULU), Our friend Log wrote:

ok

On Sun May 21 14:27:10 2006 (ZULU), Gord wrote:

Yeah. Go log.

On Fri May 12 15:12:26 2006 (ZULU), Chris wrote:

Slade, you kicked ass in your Warehouse show, by the way. You and Tanner are the vanguard of 'the cause.' Listen, I gotta run, the walls have eyes and ears...

On Wed May 10 23:05:25 2006 (ZULU), Our friend Slade wrote:

Oh, see. If you change your ISP and get hooped without internet for a while and then forget you have it back and then don't check the rltc.ca blog for a while.... it just ripens and gets nice and thick. Mmmmm. Thick. Well it's nice to see Trish has been out there with the commies and coca-istas and the peons. I'm surprised they did not make you queen of all of their lands, though, Tish. They have legends down there about the flame haired goddess who will one day return and boil the testicles of their enemies and lance that boil. I may not have translated the pyramid right on that particular point. But it's hard to read all the squiggly lines and like that. So, ummm. how are you all? Y'all. You.

On Thu May 4 17:26:56 2006 (ZULU), Gord wrote:

It's almost a Liechtenstein show!



Theatre Projects Manitoba Presents:

In The Chamber

Gas Station Theatre
8 PM Tursday May 4 & Friday May 5

Featuring

Chekhov and Me - written and performed by Mike Bell
Hi Diddle Dee Dee - written and performed by Tricia Cooper
and
51 - written and performed by Christopher Read

It's almost a Liechtenstein show people! Be There!
Call 989-2400 to reserve your tickets! Or just show up!

On Sat Apr 29 20:17:04 2006 (ZULU), Our friend Poetry Corner wrote:

Jack Ellyat heard the guns with a knock at his heart
When he first heard them. They were going to be in it, soon.
He wondered how it would feel. They would win, of course,
But how would it feel? He'd never killed anything much.
Ducks and rabbits, but ducks and rabbits weren't men.
He'd never even seen a man killed, a man die,
Except Uncle Amos, and Uncle Amos was old.
He saw a red sop spreading across the close
Feather's of a duck's breast - it had been all right,
But now it made him feel sick for a while, somehow.
Then they were down on the ground, and they were firing,
And that was all right - just fire as you fired at drill.
Was anyone firing at them? He couldn't tell.
There was a stone bridge. Were there rebels beyond the bridge?
The shot he was firing now might go and kill rebels
But it didn't feel like it.
A man down the line
Fell and rolled flat, with a minor coughing sound
And then was quiet. Ellyat felt the cough
In the pit of his stomach a minute.
But, after that, it was just like a man falling down.
It was all so calm except for their guns and the distant
Shake in the air of cannon. No more men were hit,
And, after a while, they all got up and marched on.
If Rebels had been by the bridge, the rebels were gone.
And they were going on somewhere, you couldn't say where,
Just marching along the way that they always did.
The only funny thing was, leaving the man
Who had made that cough, back there in the trampled grass
With the red stain sopping through the blue of his coat
Like the stain on a duck's breast. He hardly knew the man
But it felt funny to leave him just lying there.


Stephen Vincent Benet

On Mon Apr 24 13:03:20 2006 (ZULU), Our friend Shit Disturber wrote:

Well, as I recall, it's been dead before but was revived when some jerk posted and called it "moribund", raising the ire of Read, who threatened to pound him or something.

And prior to that, it was pretty dead until Gord's high school science teacher joined the discussion.

So, don't give up the ship, it's not over until the Fat Lady sings, etc.

On the other hand, any web log that goes two weeks without an update is sad. Sad, lonely, and neglected. Like that Tamagotchi in the back of your desk drawer.

On Sun Apr 23 21:23:23 2006 (ZULU), Our friend Cammy Cakes wrote:

Ya' think? Maybe people just got tired of waiting Gord. Tired of waiting for sketch-o-matic v3...

On Sat Apr 22 17:43:50 2006 (ZULU), Gord wrote:

I think it's dead.

On Tue Apr 18 19:59:40 2006 (ZULU), wrote:

On Fri Apr 7 17:18:08 2006 (ZULU), Chris wrote:

Oh yeah? Bifay na pleeka!

On Sun Apr 2 16:52:41 2006 (ZULU), Our friend WhoWhatsWat? wrote:

This has got to be the most incoherent thing on the web...

On Fri Mar 31 20:05:13 2006 (ZULU), Our friend Earth Agnus wrote:

You can't fool me, Gord doesn't have any more engineering buddies. He crossed them off of his "Friends List" years ago when he went all Hollywood and stopped returning their calls.

On Thu Mar 30 20:39:25 2006 (ZULU), Chris wrote:

....must be another one of Gord's engineering buddies...

On Thu Mar 30 19:53:54 2006 (ZULU), Our friend Earth Angel wrote:

I made myself out of my "father's" poo.

On Wed Mar 29 23:05:14 2006 (ZULU), Chris wrote:

Ah "Cocoa Momma..." It should be more wholesome than "Coca Momma" - yet there's a strange creepy undertone.

On Tue Mar 28 19:04:04 2006 (ZULU), Our friend Foxy wrote:

Cooper in the Peg! Cooper in the Peg! Let the good times roll! Here's hoping Cocoa Mama wants to share. I got the shakes just thinkin bout what she brought back with her.....

On Tue Mar 28 16:29:25 2006 (ZULU), Our friend Platic wrote:

You're right. You're wrong. I don't know what it is that makes you wrong, but I'd get it checked out. And I think the question you really want to be asking is, Colbert Report - Great show, or the Greatest show ever?

On Tue Mar 28 08:05:36 2006 (ZULU), Gord wrote:

am I wrong to hate the Colbert Report with a passion? This Week in God was always one of my favourite segments on the Daily Show. Now he's just a gibbering monkey. What do you think, Platic ?

On Sun Mar 26 23:46:29 2006 (ZULU), Our friend Platic wrote:

Fuck you! I'm not a spelling error!

On Thu Mar 23 19:33:58 2006 (ZULU), Scott wrote:

That's right, I said "platic". I'm too depressed to spell correctedetly.

On Thu Mar 23 19:32:12 2006 (ZULU), Scott wrote:

Umm... testing? Hello friends. Happy belated birthday Dawn, Gord, and Sarah. Sorry to be out of the loop so long. Having said that I feel that I have very little to add to the log-o-sphere. Umm... did you know it takes 1.5 million barrels of oil to produce all the platic bottled-water bottles that are consumed in the U.S. each year? That's enough to fuel 100,000 cars. The result? 2.7 million tonnes of plastic waste. How's everybody doing? I'm in a fun mood.

On Wed Mar 22 23:14:03 2006 (ZULU), Chris wrote:

It should be noted that Cooper now writes all her entries from a maximum security prison in Bolivia... She's writing a one-woman play called "Coca Mama."

On Tue Mar 21 14:50:24 2006 (ZULU), Trish wrote:

I feel some of my finest work was in Lucid. Thanks for overlooking me again Chernick...whatever... you got what you wanted out of me and now i'm just used up trash.Jonas Chernick: User.

On Tue Mar 21 02:04:58 2006 (ZULU), Our friend home intruder wrote:

Not anymore. I put them out.

On Mon Mar 20 16:28:54 2006 (ZULU), Sarah wrote:

I checked out Gordon's kittens last night. Smokin'.

On Mon Mar 20 16:20:49 2006 (ZULU), Our friend home intruder wrote:

private to Gordon: "Have you checked the kittens?"

On Mon Mar 20 07:32:51 2006 (ZULU), Gord wrote:

Chernick, you are no dead baby auteur. Are you?

On Fri Mar 17 16:50:43 2006 (ZULU), Our friend Dead Baby Auteur wrote:

LUCID opens March 17th...
Grant Park Theatre 1120 Grant Ave, Winnipeg
Starring
Gordon Tanner
Rob Slade
Ross McMillan
Kristen Harris
And Someone Else
directed by
Sean Garrity

Support Your Local Cinema Today!

On Thu Mar 9 23:29:19 2006 (ZULU), Chris wrote:

Ah yas Tannah, Happy Birthday old boy - and you too Dawn...and CAM BENNETT too...I'm going to his birthday party tonight - at the old Park Theatre. The last time I was there they were showing Deliverance [this was around '96] and I got mad cuz the the projectionist cut the movie off before the end of the credits. There's a kind of bookend scene afterwards...Man, I was so ticked off I wrote a letter.

On Wed Mar 8 23:40:25 2006 (ZULU), Our friend Null Device wrote:

Happy Birthday Tanner. Soon. Soon the celebration will spread the globe. There will be music and fireworks and it will be as if there were a thousand people chanting your name.As if....

On Wed Mar 8 20:50:22 2006 (ZULU), Trish wrote:

Oh Gord! you have been so alone in your nostalgia. I think maybe our techs name was Aaron. Maybe ? Or it could have been Tim. Are you still in Edmonton? Or have you moved on to Calgary? Calgary is a tough town Gord, don't walk around in your jean shorts. But more importantly than that...HAPPY BIRTHDAY GORD! I wish I could celebrate with you. And I think this is a bigun...Is it? I have forgotten how old we are, including myself.It doesnt matter, just look forward to the surprise party when you and I both return to Winnipeg! oh shit, I blew it, god I'm such an idiot, Sorry gord, but at least now you can rest up. Dawn also experienced a birthday a few days ago.Whister Dude!The RLTC birthday cluster. I am in agreement, lets do a show! I think the best way to do it is to just book it and then tell people...."Hey we are doing a show" Spaghetti Factory Style. and when i refer to the Spaghetti factory i don't mean like the show we did at the Spaghetti Factory but the time we ate there as a nice cast wrap up and we all wondered who had in fact picked the spaghetti factory... but we all showed up didnt we. Wait,what am I talking about, I think Gord, and correct me if I'm wrong that we got screwed on the bill at Civita so maybe The Spaghetti Factory is actually not a bad idea. I am back from Titikaka, and I have seen alot of things.Bolivia is a crazy awesome country.The new president has cut his salary in half and a whole bunch of gov't employees have moved into the bighouse with him.He is pissing off Bush more and more. i went to Carnivale, that is some crazy shit, It was Amazing and Fun, the water balooning is out of hand. i think its an awesome tradition but i got to say, I'm over it. Walking down the street and some grown man throwing a water balloon at you from a moving car just seems rude.Its cute with kids but cmon people. Gord you did get an A.Have a fantastic day, and soon we'll celebrate at your party! (oh shit, I did it again)

On Wed Mar 8 14:00:29 2006 (ZULU), Our friend Hooty wrote:

More apples! Glee glee glee!

On Wed Mar 8 07:39:20 2006 (ZULU), Gord wrote:

One time, Hooty, when we were in Saskatoon for the Fringe Festival, Sarah really wanted to make hard boiled eggs at the home of the two brothers we stayed with. And so, we made a bunch of hard boiled eggs. They were pretty good, too. I mean, hard boiled eggs don't have a real range to their goodness or badness. Arnold, that was one of the brothers names. He's the one that said "Kissy face" when he walked in on the group of us watching the movie The Myth of Fingerprints, which - for the record - sucked. I just tried Googling "arnold saskatoon fringe festival" and this was the first result returned. George's bio mentions Shack Out on 101. Oh, sweet synchronicity. How do you like them apples, Hooty?

On Wed Mar 8 01:18:30 2006 (ZULU), Gord wrote:

Tell me that this isn't comic genius and I'll tell you where to get off. And it rhymes with "right here". If a thing can be said to rhyme with itself. Which, according to most people, it can't.

Oh, Hooty, I miss them all so much. I'm going to rebuild the Sketch-O-Matic. Then they'll love me again. And this time, you can play too, Hooty. No, Hooty, not with that. Put that away.

On Tue Mar 7 03:20:10 2006 (ZULU), Our friend Hooty wrote:

Gord! Take it home, Gord! Take it!

On Mon Mar 6 22:27:34 2006 (ZULU), Gord wrote:

I misspelled Liechtenstein. That's it. Shut 'er down. Somebody paint a sign. G'night.

On Mon Mar 6 18:57:34 2006 (ZULU), Gord wrote:

Hey hey, my my. Liechtestein will never die. Or something.

Let's do a show.

I'm re-activating the Exquisite Corpse. And writing the first sketch. Who do I forward the last line to? Preferably somebody in the troupe, but if Hooty offers first, then Hooty it is. Provided I get my $15.

On Mon Mar 6 18:37:52 2006 (ZULU), Gord wrote:

Thanks, Hooty, for your encouragement. Nobody else seems to care, do they? Hey...Hooty... didn't we do a show together once? Some dinner theatre thing? Story about a clown that turns into a robot shark and harasses a bunch of women so that they all end up changing their names to Charlene? Something like that? Hooty McFadden? Is that right? 'Cuz... you still owe me fifteen bucks. From when you bought everybody hot dogs but you only had six bucks in your pocket so you asked me if I could cover you till the next day. Which never came. Because - as you already knew - you were fired from the show. For something to do with swearing. Which I thought was strange considering the show was called "Shit Shark Shame - What a Fucking Joke". Anyway, please send me a money order for $15 CDN.

On Mon Mar 6 18:27:25 2006 (ZULU), Our friend Hooty wrote:

Keep going, Gord! Ride the entry wave!

On Mon Mar 6 15:48:25 2006 (ZULU), Gord wrote:

The other thing I realized from looking at the list is that we haven't done a show for three years. Three is one of the magic numbers in fairy tales. After not doing a show for three years do we turn into a stone statue of a dragon?

On Sun Mar 5 18:39:39 2006 (ZULU), Gord wrote:

"Never mind," said Gord, continuing the conversation with himself. "The show was The Mystery of the Beaver at Bible Pond. I found that out on this very site. Here. It's the list of all our shows and sketches. There are a lot," he continued, forgetting for a moment that he had couched the log entry in the form of a conversation with himself. He took a sip from his coffee and contemplated his surprising lack of skill with prose. Then he thought of the coming of the Sketch-O-Matic 3, and he smiled. Prosaically.

On Sun Mar 5 08:05:23 2006 (ZULU), Gord wrote:

Wow. Make me beg, that's it people. Make me beg.

Hey does anybody remember the name of the technician we had at the Yardbird Suite that year we did Sakatoo and Edmungtung? What show was that? It had Interpretive Dance and Closing Argument and Labuka and Furniture...

On Fri Mar 3 20:10:22 2006 (ZULU), Gord wrote:

Sarah Constible! Happy Birthday Belated! Have I really known you for 13 years? Sweet bleating Jesus! Trish...are you back from Titicaca? Did you finish my thesis? Did I get the "A-" I always expected myself to get?

On Fri Mar 3 20:07:52 2006 (ZULU), Gord wrote:

And now... Battle of the Ghosts of the Network Stars. Coming Soon.

On Thu Mar 2 18:07:13 2006 (ZULU), Our friend Poopee wrote:

News flash... The ghost of Dennis Weaver exacts his revenge on the living by killing the Artful Dodger.

On Mon Feb 27 23:25:47 2006 (ZULU), Our friend Thursday Special 399 wrote:

And Darren McGavin killed Dennis Weaver.

On Mon Feb 27 15:39:51 2006 (ZULU), Our friend Noon Hour Five Dollar wrote:

Your post about Don Knotts just killed Darren McGavin!

On Mon Feb 27 03:42:15 2006 (ZULU), Our friend Fakir Mustafa wrote:

On the same day Squeaky turns 30, Don Knotts dies...

Coincidence, or bloody sex ritual?

His movie "The Love God?" was an underrated comedic gem.

On Fri Feb 24 16:16:30 2006 (ZULU), Trish wrote:

People, thirty years ago on this day, a sweet baby named Sarah Lynette(named after Sqeaky Fromme)Constible was born. (I think)Anyway, details details.Our little baby is also nominated for a blizzard.Take that all those people who said she'd amount to nothing.Happy birthday Sarah! (now please, growup! shooters arent cool anymore, no more shotgunning budweisers and no I do not want to hit Montys for last call)

On Thu Feb 23 04:07:08 2006 (ZULU), Chris wrote:

Is Titikaka Trish's new handle - now that she eats the coca and does those "rituals?"

On Wed Feb 15 16:43:17 2006 (ZULU), Trish wrote:

Titikaka was AMAZING! It is so beautiful and you know it is where the sun was born, although it rained alot when we were there. I must say I have become a bit of a scaredy cat in my old age, the little bus whipping around the mountain makes this prairie girl nervous, well terrified. but it was all worth it, the altitude didnt bother me either except when we climbed up a mountain for three hours strait, that was really the only time.its all been amazing, I will write more soon. Long Live Coca!!! and Long Live Nathan Detroit! I hope your still kicking ass Gord, must feel good to get a weekly paycheck in Edmonton instead of the forty bucks the last time you were there. Did everyone see Gord in Guys and Dolls? Fantastic!

On Wed Feb 8 20:40:28 2006 (ZULU), Gord wrote:

In the green room of the Citadel Theatre there is a computer with internet access. Oh, internetty. Tricia, how was Titicaca?

On Wed Feb 1 17:47:44 2006 (ZULU), Sarah wrote:

I watched Panic in the Streets last night, a movie directed by Elia Kazan, and guess what? I look almost exactly like Barbara Bel Geddes! At least in that movie. It was a bit creepy. But it does mean we're that much closer to the Vertigo remake. Chris plays Scottie, I play Midge... if only I sounded like Barbara Bel Geddes, and not Jiminy Glick.

On Mon Jan 30 18:06:01 2006 (ZULU), Scott wrote:

Howdy, howdy inner space geeks... I was not at the Second City show Robin Williams did, but I did meet him at a separate function. A very nice man and much funnier than Patch Adams would lead you to believe (the film Patch Adams, not the actual man who likely would have no reason to mislead you... then again I don't know you or him so it's possible I'm out of my depth here). I did what I assumed Chris would have done and asked him to join the troupe then, also in the fashion of Mr. Read, played him an audio recording of us shit talking him, then I wondered if I should have done that last part and got all nervous. Then, still as Read, I went home and told my wife Iris (Anne) all about it. Then I said "I see you... I see you..." in the style of Trish, did some two steppin' in the style of Gord, a Sarahlogue in the style of Mike and a Dawn Johnson "special." The I wept in the style of me. Peace Muthafuckas.

On Mon Jan 30 09:44:04 2006 (ZULU), Our friend Issa wrote:

Hey! It's like 3AM and I am browsing the net, hoping that it will make me bored and tired. Not really working, I am bored but not tired, not tired enough to sleep. Gord! I am Issa and not some random person talking and waving at you. I swear! I hope not, sometimes I make up that I know a person than I actually believe my own delusions. Tres sad, I know. Sarah! I have not seen you in forever, come out and play sometime! Scott! Do you even remember the days of M-TYPE? Oh my goodness! I miss living on River. I should move there again just for old time sake. Shake it easy!!

On Tue Jan 24 17:47:08 2006 (ZULU), Our friend Dark Lord wrote:

No, I'm just breathing hard.

On Tue Jan 24 14:18:18 2006 (ZULU), Our friend minnie wrote:

You think the Dark Lord could have got 130 seats. I must dash - he's coming!

On Tue Jan 24 06:23:04 2006 (ZULU), Our friend Null Device wrote:

I am the Dark Lord. I am the new Prime Minister.

On Mon Jan 23 22:24:07 2006 (ZULU), Our friend Slade wrote:

I agree with Mr. Read, who is Robin Williams Funny. Vote. I don't care who you vote for, but please don't let that sick, evil, cretin take power of our land. Even pseudo-expatriates can say "our land". Save it. Save it! And yay for Sarah at the same time. Ooooo. The Upper Wolseley is, I believe, similar to the upper Yangtze in that it has a yellow river and is beloved in song and story. Congratulations. Woah. Owning not one, but two homes. Or did you sell the "hainted" one to buy this one. Or what? Good for you, either way. You mighty Liechtenstein Land Barons, you. I am impressed.

On Fri Jan 20 18:06:51 2006 (ZULU), Chris wrote:

Congratulations SARAH! Why not post a link to a picture of it? I think just about everything's listed on MLS.CA. But maybe you're worried about freaks stalking you. So just email it to us. Gord's really great in Guys and Dolls by the way. Everyone: vote! Vote! Vote! We're on the edge of something pretty scary.

On Thu Jan 19 05:54:38 2006 (ZULU), Gord wrote:

omygod.
Congratulations!
Is "Upper Wolseley" anywhere around Langside, or Furby, or Young? Because when I lived there we called it "Little Beirut" (I did not Google "Beirut"...I am rolling the dice). If that is the place, it's nice to know it's re-euphemized itself. At least in Jey Thibedeau Silver's mind. Jey's son Lucas was our Tiny Tim in "A Christmas Carol", by the by.
Congratulations! More details!
And Scott...were you at the Second City improv show that Robin Williams showed up at? If so, a question: was he "Chris Read" funny?

On Thu Jan 19 01:57:50 2006 (ZULU), Sarah wrote:

Have you seen Poltergeist? It was kind of like that. One part was. But, we shant be in the bunker much longer! Whew. Made it through that sentence without a typo. We bought a house! In an area of town delightfully described by the lovely and talented Jey Thibedeau Silver as, "Upper Wolseley". Have you ever heard that before? (I must admit. I had to google the spelling of "Wolseley". And "Jey Thibedeau Silver". What a name though, eh? That's the kind of name you hope for in life.)

I've never had teriyaki salmon, but I have had smoked trout. Is it anything like smoked trout?

On Wed Jan 18 23:24:39 2006 (ZULU), Our friend Slade wrote:

Oh, London. Well, apart from the tube strikes and the constant whining about the weather (it's above 0 people!) it pretty much carries on as usual. You guys would love the level of sarcasm, irony, cattiness and general "taking the piss" that goes on around here. The Manager of the England football team was recently flown to Dubai with his PR guy and lawyer and put up in the world's only 7 star hotel, plied with vintage wine and champagne on a 75' luxury yacht by a fabulously wealthy Sheikh - all so that the newspaper could get a story about how willingly he would sell out and quit the team for a pile of coin. The Sheikh was a reporter and they strung the guy along to see how much he would say about what he really thought of the team and players. Eeeps. And I went out and got my pictures taken for a new head shot. And we went to see "The Woman in White" - Mr. Lloyd Webber's new hit. Really cool and all - but no tunes you could leave humming. Very neat projection sets. Oh, and teriyaki salmon before the show. Oooo get some of that for your bunker! It's really good. So, ummm. How comes you guys moved into the basement? Did your house go away?

On Fri Jan 13 15:31:11 2006 (ZULU), Sarah wrote:

Well, we're off to a good start, ignoring Father Christmas. Yes, I've moved into the Boulet's bunker. It's nice. There's freeze-dried ice cream, potassium supplements, and cyanide pills. Two inches of lead-lined steel protect us from the coming apocalypse. The cats are taking survivalist training. They're not very good at it.

But what of London, I ask? What of London?

On Wed Dec 28 21:58:22 2005 (ZULU), Our friend Father Christmas wrote:

Ho ho ho! (and that is NOT an invitation to African American linguistically based prostitute jokes). Seasonal greetings to you all. Harumph. Sarah, have you sold off your holdings in the Constible Estate? Whatever has caused you to flee your own basement for that of Boulet? Must you now listen to the incessant bouncing of young Mr. Cecon on the floor above as he tones his youthful form? And what of your myriad cats? Most fondly, of course, "old crazy legs"? See, I am seduced by your news and forget that my intention was to ramble on about wishing you all the best of the season and hoping your New Year sucks less than a 12 year old Hoover. Oh, and Scottums, I am reading young Mr. Nietzsche's "Zarathustra" - any philosophical opinions you would care to share? Preferred works to add to my reading list, perhaps? Cheers and heartfelt warm wishes, my home boys and girls. You all.

On Wed Dec 28 17:17:09 2005 (ZULU), Our friend roeper wrote:

The comic book geek in me loved Sin City, March of the Penguins was cute (I'll give it that), but Crash...isn't that just the most overrated, pretentious movie of the year?

On Wed Dec 28 16:50:33 2005 (ZULU), Our friend Null Device wrote:

I used to be Siskel.

Great:

Downfall
Oldboy
The Squid & the Whale

Very Good:

Capote
March of the Penguins
Rize

Good:

Walk the Line
A History of Violence

Was actually a bit bored:

Murderball

What kind of crap is this getting accolades?

Sin City
Crash
War of the Worlds

Sad and Terrible:

Hitchhiker's Guide to the Galaxy

On Wed Dec 28 07:10:31 2005 (ZULU), Our friend Ebert wrote:

Anybody care to share top films of 2005? I kinda liked Walk the Line.

On Tue Dec 27 15:35:47 2005 (ZULU), Our friend Miss Victoria Beach wrote:

New Year's Eve is a genuinely funny occasion... unless you spend it sequestered at Scott Memorial Orange Hall at an improv show... at least there were pretzels!

Nay, a truly funny New Year's Eve would be spent with a buch of drunks downing boilermakers in an unheated cabin, providing no one attempts to refuel the naptha lantern while it is still lit. Most unfunny. But climbing the water tower to toast the new year in still rocks.

Happy New Year, RTLC.

On Mon Dec 26 20:33:46 2005 (ZULU), Gord wrote:

Thank you, Cammy Cakes, for your Christmas wishes. We are indeed naughty, naughty children. Now I make a spanking joke, and we all chuckle a little bit and get on with the holiday merriment. But I didn't make a spanking joke, did I? And so, let the holiday merriment end. Let it end, please God, Let it end!

It was too short a time to spend with everyone on the 23rd. Also, I find that Christmas mars everything it touches with sentiment and a general lack of humour. Maybe we can all get together another time soon for a genuinely funny occasion. Like Easter.

On Sun Dec 25 20:58:51 2005 (ZULU), Our friend Cammy Cakes wrote:

Whenever I think of Christmas I think of children. Undeserving, bad, bad children. Merry Christmas to seven of the worst kids I know...

On Tue Dec 13 13:45:01 2005 (ZULU), Sarah wrote:

My heartfelt congratulations to Arnold Schwarzenegger. How many action stars from the 80s have actually gone on to kill real people? Yes, Van Damme sliced up that tandem biker, but other than that - not one.

On Sun Dec 11 21:34:11 2005 (ZULU), Gord wrote:

Richard Pryor and Eugene McCarthy.
Released.

On Wed Dec 7 19:29:04 2005 (ZULU), Chris wrote:

I'm starting a troupe called The Knave Brewed Weevils.

On Tue Dec 6 22:06:31 2005 (ZULU), Our friend SUPERSTAR wrote:

Hey Guys, Long time no talk. So I'm starting a new comedy troupe here in Toronto called "Loyal Richingtons Cheerleading Society" and I was wondering if any of you were interested in joining. Hey the "artsy" stuff has its place and all -- but if you want to try your hand at actually being funny -- then give me a call. Ken Cuperus

On Mon Dec 5 14:51:12 2005 (ZULU), Sarah wrote:

No, by phoned it in, I meant that I couldn't place your accent.

Trish is a bit Stockard Channing and a bit Carroll O'Conner.

On Mon Dec 5 06:11:15 2005 (ZULU), Gord wrote:

Sarah, if by phoned it in, you mean I called it in, please see my previous posting. If you mean it sounded like I was at the bottom of a well from which sound was being broadcast telephonically... well aren't you clever.

Also, I was being bullied.

And technically, I'm a little bit country, a little bit rock and roll. But who's being technical?

On Sun Dec 4 14:46:27 2005 (ZULU), Our friend Jonathan L. Seagull wrote:

...and Gord is a little bit Lewis Carroll, and a little bit Carol Channing...

On Sun Dec 4 04:10:47 2005 (ZULU), Sarah wrote:

I never said you called it in. I said you phoned it in.

On Sun Dec 4 02:18:52 2005 (ZULU), Gord wrote:

Sarah, if by "calling it in" you mean I was on a phone somewhere, recording my voiceover telephonically, boy, are you wrong. I was right there in the studio. Too bad I was so halfhearted about it. At least I wasn't as halfhearted as I apparently am about trying to make this posting funny. Or even fun. It's just a little bit "F". That's all. Slade is a little bit Lewis Black, but also a little bit Lewis Carroll. In that he is very witty, and also a mathematician.

Still not funny. Oh well. Congrats on your new digs.

On Sat Dec 3 16:09:36 2005 (ZULU), Sarah wrote:

I'm now two days into our new place (Boulet's Basement - the Plato's Retreat of the West End). I won't have a phone line hooked up for about 2 weeks, so email is the best way to get ahold of me. Housekeeping: Gordon Tanner is the voice of the "stop bullying!" campaign. He's not very believable. In that I don't believe him. I think he phoned it in. (I didn't want to leave Slade out of the loop. I see Slade as our Lewis Black - a crazy old codger who comes and yells at us occasionally and for that we love him).

On Sat Nov 26 14:06:59 2005 (ZULU), Our friend Kilgour Trout wrote:

Make me young! Make me young!

On Sat Nov 26 14:05:00 2005 (ZULU), Scott wrote:

Ho-ly shit! A voice from the past brings me back from my self imposed exile from the land of Liechtenblog. I think I want to be young again. "So Full of liiiiffeeee!" Name the sketch, or the actor who said the line and win a penny!

On Fri Nov 25 20:40:43 2005 (ZULU), Our friend Null Device wrote:

do you like my face lift? Hi Dawn! send my love to your parents! you guys ever travel to Boulder, Colorado? There's a fringe here now...come on, i dare ya...it's a cool mountain hippie type town...I'll buy you all a drink ;-)...and we can cut a rug (hey I think I learnt that phrase from Scott)...anyway, should get back to work really...rather than ramble waxical (yes i made that up) on your site...peace out sexy mo foes...Gemma - a wee bit older, but still shaking my booty :-)

On Fri Nov 25 20:30:31 2005 (ZULU), Our friend Null Device wrote:

hey ho hum... gemma here! any of you out there? might be in winnipeg for fringe 2006 it would be fucking fun to see you crazy cats! my e-mail is: gemma@gemmawilcox.com Hey Scott! remember me? hope you are all fabulous darlings... A lot of love.. gemma (that brit chick from way back when)

On Thu Nov 17 23:11:07 2005 (ZULU), Our friend Slade wrote:

Ummmm, is something missing from the log? Like, the part where Gord tells kids to be vigilantes? Are you guys editing the log, now? That's censorship! Or is there a whole new conversation going on in the secret "members only" area? And yes, Tish is a cunt in the English way (or, more specifically, the Australian way because they use it as "mate" more than the English do) but she is not a "Minge" in the English way. That's not nice at all. But it means the same thing or part. What are you all currently up to? I won't mention what I'm up to because a) it's not interesting and b) I'd hate to continue "my blog" here on your turf. Peace on. Mother Diddlers.

On Tue Nov 15 22:51:35 2005 (ZULU), Trish wrote:

Tish Looper is a cunt. But in the British way.

On Mon Nov 14 21:31:50 2005 (ZULU), Gord wrote:

Yes. Yes, I am.

On Sat Nov 12 00:25:03 2005 (ZULU), Sarah wrote:

You're fat.

On Fri Nov 11 17:35:52 2005 (ZULU), Gord wrote:

Sarah, um...Yes! And I believe the word is "vigilan-tay". And... shut up, stupid.

On Fri Nov 11 15:21:31 2005 (ZULU), Sarah wrote:

Gord, are you telling kids to bully? And with vigilance?

On Tue Nov 8 19:26:16 2005 (ZULU), Our friend Slade S. Elliot wrote:

Now, see... that's class. I guess right and get a good "quipping" and then the guy has the humanity to mitigate it. Bless your philosophical heart, Scott. Just for the record, it wasn't intended as a nasty bit of writing on my part, either. Oftentimes I try to be funny and am only cruel and hurtful. That's why I like the RLTC so much. They ARE funny and yet, cruel and hurtful in way that means something to the world, while bringing tears and laughter to a hungry populace. Speaking of hungry populi, I was just remarking that the lovely Christine and I chose well in going to Paris the last weekend in October - it all seems a little out of hand there just now and not the time for tourism. Sarah, if you quit... I have to give up on my dreams of you making it big and getting your own television comedy show and leaving everyone else behind and garnering Golden Globes and then doing a bit at the Golden Globes where you stuff them in your shirt and make the obvious joke(s). 'Sides, then Tish Looper might turn on me! Eeeeps.

On Sat Nov 5 15:23:48 2005 (ZULU), Sarah wrote:

You forget, Trish:


1. I can dish it out.
2. I can't take it.

On Sat Nov 5 07:04:44 2005 (ZULU), Trish wrote:

Sarah you can't quit, your fired! I didnt know for sure it was scott but it all seemed so achingly familiar, like just general hate.The shitfucks had me wondering.But i ask you this Sarah, Didnt you love being hated just a little? The same way you enjoy a tragic celebrity passing?

On Sat Nov 5 05:05:29 2005 (ZULU), Sarah wrote:

I quit.

On Fri Nov 4 05:25:33 2005 (ZULU), Scott wrote:

Hey -for the record- I was trying to "horse" around with that last blurb (y'know trade quips and whatnot), but I read it on our homepage and got worried it came off a little harsh. Sladey baby you know I love you. So anyway apologies all around if'n I offend. Also -for the record- the poetry of T.S. Eliot is sprawling modernist crap. Plus He's totally pissed that the comedy troupe he started with Ezra Pound was so poorly received. Peace etc...

On Fri Nov 4 04:51:16 2005 (ZULU), Scott wrote:

Wow. Slade I can't tell if you think too much of me or too little (ha! I can fucking guess). Anyway Slade, 5 out of 6 on your detective work. I promise to keep my wackiness at least fifty feet away from your blog here at rltc.ca at all times. Peace muthafuckas.

On Thu Nov 3 20:23:18 2005 (ZULU), Our friend Slade wrote:

Weeeee-doggy! When Scott assumes a new persona, he don't mince his words, does he? It was the honeyed balls that gave him away. I heard him describe his balls as honeyed on more than one occassion. And anyone seriously ranting like that would have had the guts to put their real name on it, so they could enjoy the flame war repercussions. But a philosopher is just the type of person to put a little fire under a tired comedy group and expect it to cause them to rise up in humourous indignation. I am personally looking forward to the reunion show. Especially the bit when you pull out the classic sketches and do them all over again instead of writing something new. That's the kind of class I expect from the RLTC. Wipe your bums, rub the soiled towelette against the proboscus of T.S. Elliot and do that show. Ummmm, what show was "that" again?

On Thu Nov 3 19:37:27 2005 (ZULU), Our friend Lady Chatterley wrote:

Well, I never. Although perhaps I should. Regardless... I, for one, think you're a great bunch of kids, certainly not deserving of the sort of treatment T.S. gave you. Take heart. Besides, if you can still piss someone off like that, you've still got game. Now, just do the fucking show, OK.

On Thu Nov 3 16:53:26 2005 (ZULU), Sarah wrote:

Wow, T.S. Eliot saw us perform!

On Thu Nov 3 15:26:55 2005 (ZULU), Our friend T.S. Eliot wrote:

"Our dried voices, when we whisper together, are quiet and meaningless as wind in dry grass, or rats feet over broken glass..." Hey Liechtenstein, Sound about right? An official break-up? The RLTC? NEVER! Clinging to the past like grim death is more your style. I saw you once and I wish I'd saved my seven bucks for The Spleen Jockeys, the Brave New Weasels, or paying a homeless guy to stab me in the fucking heart. Fuck you! Lick my balls. Lick my honeyed, hairy, poetry producing balls. You didn't even get mentioned in the God Damned book about the history theatre in Manitoba. Manitoba! Crumbs got mentioned. Hell the Cross Eyed Rascals probably got mentioned. You, you never made a dent. Not a fucking dent! What the fuck is wrong with you? You should lock yourselves in a room and starve to death while you think about all the ways in which you suck steaming green shit! I once heard a rumour you guys broke up and it gave me a boner. Honestly. But no, you persist and whither away. Kudos shitfucks. "This is the way the world ends, this is the way the world ends, this is the way the world ends. Not with a bang, but a whimper." You suck.

On Wed Nov 2 17:42:16 2005 (ZULU), Sarah wrote:

We haven't broken up, we're just on sabbatical. Dawn is "chasing her guru", Trish has "gone solo", Scott is "finding himself", Chris is "gripping the Golden God", Mike has "been assassinated", Gord is "forming a tribute group called The Princes of Luxembourg", and I'm "making up silly metaphors for wanking".

On Tue Nov 1 13:33:47 2005 (ZULU), Our friend Ringo wrote:

Hey Gordo, even the Beatles broke up before they hit their 10-year anniversary... it's no surprise that the RLTC is no longer a going concern.

I mean, sure, if you were fur trappers and miners and real estate magnates you might expect a 350+ year run like the Hudson's Bay Company, but that's the way it is.

You must excuse me now, I have to cruise the Information Superhighway for pictures of a shaved pussy.

On Fri Oct 28 22:07:07 2005 (ZULU), Gord wrote:

Oh, log, how you languish. It's my fault, log. My fault. If I'd planted you in good, healthy, feculent soil you'd be thriving right now. But no. No. Instead you reflect back to me the aridity of the RLTC at 10 years of age. Not the aridity of the members. Oh, no. They're all moist. It's just you, RLTC, you're the dry one. You're the one who will chafe where once you did glisten. When will you glisten again, RLTC? If they made you pee in a cup, what would they discover? That it still tastes salty? That the drugs haven't helped? Blood? Oh, log. Oh, Liechtenstein.

On Sun Oct 23 17:43:51 2005 (ZULU), Our friend Thanatos wrote:

Yes it will.

On Sun Oct 23 02:59:49 2005 (ZULU), Our friend Gene Rayburn wrote:

Match Game won't be the same without him.

On Thu Oct 20 14:55:30 2005 (ZULU), Our friend Slade wrote:

Ah, Nips. That was one funny, funny man. Imagine if he had been given the opportunities. Oh, informational side note... show is number one in london two weeks running. Closes sunday, so get your tickets now, only £12! No one ever sends me email anymore, so I can only assume you are all happy and busy, busy, busy. Good for you. Kick them. Kick them hard.

On Mon Oct 17 12:32:28 2005 (ZULU), Our friend Paul Lynde wrote:

Oh, how the funnymen are falling!

Nipsey Russell, how we'll miss you!

On Fri Oct 14 12:22:52 2005 (ZULU), Our friend Slade wrote:

Hats? Eeeps! Nice to hear from you El Gordo. Send me a note sometime on the email thingy. Cheers

On Fri Oct 14 05:18:11 2005 (ZULU), Gord wrote:

Slade, you're better than Spacey on any four given days of the week. And that's better than half. And you're less gay and more open about it. (in a good way) Strangely, you are less gay than Dame Edna (as a woman) but much more gay than Barry Humphries. Your Stonehenge Moment adorns our fridge, and you, you Slade, adorn us all. Or you will after we've made hats out of your skin.

On Fri Oct 14 00:29:37 2005 (ZULU), Our friend Slade wrote:

Yes. Yes it is. I just didn't know you guys would get the news that she was back so soon. Anyway, it's a hell of a show.

On Thu Oct 13 12:15:24 2005 (ZULU), Our friend The Marshmallow Buddha wrote:

Let me guess... is it Dame Edna?

On Wed Oct 12 08:49:39 2005 (ZULU), Our friend Slade wrote:

Ok, so those of you in La Peg may find less relevance in this... Time Out London is this magazine that tells folks what's on in the theatres, galleries, cinemas, night clubs... basically everything there is to do in London. It publishes weekly and is THICK! (194 pages this week). Would anyone care to guess what show is number one on the critic's choice list? Would anyone care to guess what show got 5 out of 6 stars, while Kevin Spacey's Richard II got 4? Would anyone care to guess who they know in that show? Ummm hmmm. (apologies are issued for a lack of public humility at this juncture).

On Mon Oct 10 15:00:18 2005 (ZULU), Scott wrote:

I was just looking through our photo gallery (call me a sentimental old fool, but ever since Chris pointed out that we're turning ten I've been doing a lot of dwelling on the subject of the good old days). I feel the photo entitled "Bongo," may be the perfect image of the troupe. Not for quality -mind you- but it does seem to capture something of the essence of each troupe member. Mike - kind, gentle but wincing slightly. Trish - lovely and fun, but demonic. Dawn - cute and angry, slightly above it all. Gord - handsome and ramrod straight, a born leader. Chris - obscene yet compelling. Sarah - radiant and frantic. Me - just trying to look cool and failing (again). Check it out. Peace muthafuckas!

On Mon Oct 10 10:46:12 2005 (ZULU), Our friend slade wrote:

A show? A liechtenstein show? War in the middle east, earthquakes, hurricanes and tsunamis... and now the final sign of the Apocalypse. The Ride of the Liechtenstein Horsemen (and women)! aaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaa!

On Sun Oct 9 14:58:08 2005 (ZULU), Scott wrote:

Yikes, a show? Tell you what, I'm in if we can find a venue for sometime before the second weekend of December... after that I'm retired. Anybody else reading Vonnegut's new book? I love that old man. Speaking of old men, Chris you are my all time favorite stoic grump, and I'm glad you care enough for all of us. And Steve, don't sweat the slip up (or whatever) these things happen, it's not really a big deal until Chris shows up at your door, totally nude, greased for combat and clutching a hunting knife in his teeth. It happens people! Peace muthafuckas!

On Sat Oct 8 19:18:14 2005 (ZULU), Our friend Stephen Sim wrote:

So yes indeed I have sent out the press releases setting the record straight. Sorry about the flub folks. Now maybe the Royal Liechtensteiners can actually do a show together. We are all now officially waiting...

On Wed Oct 5 23:39:25 2005 (ZULU), Chris wrote:

News...Stephen Sim assures me he will set the record straight in his next press release re the Comedy Bus... And the lockout is over as long as we ratify the new collective agreement tomorrow. I have nothing funny to say, as usual. I'm such a stoic bastard. Gord - you can take down my harangue. Hey - did y'all read in the Globe and Mail today about Dubya's announcement he'll use the US military to cordone off huge sections of America if there's an outbreak of Avian flu? It's a brave new world, kidz.

On Tue Oct 4 12:21:37 2005 (ZULU), Our friend Eddie Izzard wrote:

Ronnie, we've missed you for ages!

Ronnie Barker, dead at 76.

On Tue Oct 4 11:26:18 2005 (ZULU), Our friend Slade wrote:

So, you guys are locked out of the strike? Man, I remember the days when a strike was a free-for-all, anyone can join, the more the merrier kind of party. And it didn't have social buses. Just buses full or picketers and strike breakers, all armed with baseball bats. Aaaah. The teamsters. And, not to quaffle, but did Trish ask her mom if she could bring all these people home? Or is this going to be another case of "They followed me home, mom, can I keep them?" She's not going to be too popular around the house with that one! Not to mention the fact that Scott will now have squatters rights to all of Toronto. Maybe he will rename it Scottonto. Hmmm.

On Mon Oct 3 21:48:26 2005 (ZULU), Scott wrote:

Not to quibble, but the CBC thing's a lock out, not a strike. Is that what you guys are talking about or am I way behind the curve? What social? There's a "comedy" bus? Or is it a comedy "bus?" Sketches you say... what the fuck? Do you guys realize that when Trish moves back to Winnipeg I'll be the only one left in Toronto (I mean that literally, everyone else is coming to Winnipeg with Trish... make room). That'll feel weird. Peace muthafuckas.

On Thu Sep 29 21:59:20 2005 (ZULU), Our friend Slade wrote:

CBC Social? Is that how you end a strike? Throw a party for the people who walked out? Cool. That's what I call "no hard feelings". Did you win? Oh, and I had no idea that Chris' wife was from the East. At some point in her ancestry. I don't hear occidental very much these days. Westerner is used with that whiff of "shithead" attached to it so much now, it seems hardly necessary to push the point further home. And what's all this with the Comedy Bus? Is that like the one from the Comedy Festival that year that you guys played Summer Camp Councillors? Is anything going on with this dub the movies gig? Is it still happening. I hear my boy was Funnneeee. I love that boy. And my girl. yeah. And you guys, but not in the same way.

On Wed Sep 28 17:00:21 2005 (ZULU), Gord wrote:

Somebody tell me about the Comedy Bus. What time are we on? Have we finished writing stuff for it yet? Is Chris making a Battle Plan? Is it too late for me to make some changes to my sketches? Like, to change them from not existing? Are we now just as real as the Brave New Weasels?

On Thu Sep 22 06:27:49 2005 (ZULU), Gord wrote:

Ah, Robert, there you have me. I was hearing a simpering child voice as I read your post. In my head. My child doesn't simper. Much. I was hearing a simpering child voice, when I should have been hearing the voice of the mock-Chinee. I stand corrected, and chastened. Very much chastened. Although I do wonder, why was my supposed Chinese voice trying to speak french? Perhaps he was not Chinese at all, but Vietnamese. Or Laotian.

Who will I see at the CBC social tomorrow? Everyone, I hope. Except Slade. But wouldn't that be a lovely surprise? Or "kehw seu-plee" as my Laotion other might say. My occidentality being purely accidental.

On Wed Sep 21 22:27:04 2005 (ZULU), Chris wrote:

My wife likes to say - it's okay to call her people oriental, as long as you call westerners occidentals...

On Tue Sep 20 22:33:08 2005 (ZULU), Our friend Slade wrote:

Oh, and I should point out this interesting linguistic fact. I said that the play "The Hot Zone" is about 3 Asian men in a Guantanamo-like prison. Here in Englandland, Asian refers to people of Indian descent. Not, not North American Aboriginals (whom they refer to as "Red Indians") but folk from the lands of India, Pakistan, etc. etc. Orientals is what we would call Asians. Sufficiently confused? And "Blacks" aren't just people of African background, they are also Asians. Who are actually more sort of brownish. Although the Asians sometimes call themselves brown people. Hmmmm.

On Tue Sep 20 22:26:40 2005 (ZULU), Our friend Slade wrote:

On Wed Sep 14 06:28:00 2005 (ZULU), Gord wrote: Slade...are you one of the three Asian men? Me no compree?

On Tue Sep 20 22:24:35 2005 (ZULU), Our friend Slade wrote:

I (like a coward) bend the knee in aplogy, Mr. T. However, I took the style of the phrasing for that last message from you own use of the "mock-chinee" in previous entries. Or, have you now come to regret and recant your use of such phrasing? Is there something you would like to say?

On Mon Sep 19 23:55:53 2005 (ZULU), Gord wrote:

Slade, I love you as much as I love any man. But don't you think using the phrase "no hurty me" just demeans us all?

On Sun Sep 18 23:31:25 2005 (ZULU), Our friend Slade wrote:

Eeeps. Me likey vonnegut. You no hurty me?

On Fri Sep 16 02:29:46 2005 (ZULU), Gord wrote:

Vonnegut's own gentle words:
"why don't you take a flying fuck at a rolling doughnut? Why don't you take a flying fuck at the mooooooooooooon?"

On Thu Sep 15 20:58:02 2005 (ZULU), Mike wrote:

In the immortal words of Rodney Dangerfield (in the immortal film "Back to School"):

Hey Vonnegut, fuck you!

On Thu Sep 15 19:37:10 2005 (ZULU), Our friend Slade wrote:

I thought the fat lady was vonnegut!

On Thu Sep 15 16:53:42 2005 (ZULU), Sarah wrote:

You don't get it, Gord. The fat lady IS Jesus.

On Thu Sep 15 14:54:11 2005 (ZULU), Gord wrote:

No, Jerome, you had it right the first time. They should've hired someone off the street. Even a horribly scarred person. Or someone with no nose. And had them run up the stairs. In a balaclava. But they didn't. And I brought no special aplomb to the role. Of this I am quite certain. Also, Vonnegut's shopping list would be a better read than Franny and Zooey.

On Thu Sep 15 12:09:08 2005 (ZULU), Our friend JD Salinger wrote:

Kurt Vonnegut, what an * !

Running up the stairs wearing a balaclava... the things we do for money...

But why do they have to hire an accomplished actor to run up the stairs if he's going to be WEARING A BALACLAVA?

Why not just get someone off the street to do it and pay them a lot less? Or is there something you can bring to the role, some sort of special swagger that will play well on the screen? A debonair flick of your wool-clad head?

On Wed Sep 14 22:21:14 2005 (ZULU), Our friend Slade wrote:

I know. I know. I am sad for you. But if you go to the comedy network .com thingy you can watch the vonnegut interview. All the bestest of stuff from the daily show is there. To watch. I am not one of the asian men. I am the sole white guy in the show. The American Soldier and Prison Guard/Interrogator. But, I am not the bad guy. And the woman in the show is a UK silver medalist swimmer from the Olybics. Woot! and a good actress to boot. Is Category 7 the follow up to that movie they did last year with Brian Denehey with the storm that eats Chicago? Good for you. I lub you, Gord. Oh, and did you guys know that Romi is nominated for a Western Canadian Music Award? Again, I say woot.

On Wed Sep 14 06:28:00 2005 (ZULU), Gord wrote:

Slade...are you one of the three Asian men? Me no compree? I just spent 14 hours on the set of Category 7:The End of the World. My sole contribution to ending the world today was to run up the stairs (twice) wearing a balaclava. The unkindest cut of all was that they wrapped me before I could watch all of the Daily Show. With Kurt Vonnegut, the daffodil. One of my favourite human beings alive.

On Tue Sep 13 20:35:07 2005 (ZULU), Our friend Slade wrote:

http://www.lyric.co.uk/pl103.html I can't escape the madness! At least the American in this one is the lesser of several evils! OK, it SEEMS like cheap self promotion.... or it could just be letting you know what I'm doing. Yes, Sarah. A glimmer of hope in a mad, mad world. (wipes away a tear). Are any of you guys working on this Falcon Beach series? or The Plague? What're yeh dooon?

On Sun Sep 11 04:02:38 2005 (ZULU), Our friend Cary Grant wrote:

AND NOW...

IT's TIME...

for the....


MOVIES I FORGOT ABOUT BUT WHICH ARE REALLY REALLY GOOD TRUST ME ON THIS JUDY FESTIVAL 2005


all entries accepted, at first. Voting at the end of time. THE NOMINEES(first wave):

Bus 174
Downfall
The China Syndrome
Bringing Up Baby (I'm so good in this one!)

On Sat Sep 10 13:26:35 2005 (ZULU), Sarah wrote:

But didn't the story about Mexico fill you with hope?

On Sat Sep 10 11:46:15 2005 (ZULU), Our friend Slade wrote:

The Post Scriptum on New Orleans is the most telling part. Here's me, sucked in again. If the looting, violence and sub human behaviour was exagerated, who did the exagerating? Our dear friends the media. And gits like me bought into it. I am shamed.

On Fri Sep 9 03:55:24 2005 (ZULU), Sarah wrote:

Article from Harper's -- The Uses of Disaster.

On Mon Sep 5 22:41:13 2005 (ZULU), Our friend Slade wrote:

I watched, sarah. And I wept. They turned back water? They cut communication lines? Wal-mart has acted more responsibly than the federal government? For the love of God, what is going on in the richest, most modernised, most powerful nation in the west? Absolute imbeciles. i am at the end of my reach in being able to believe this nonsense.

On Mon Sep 5 15:30:55 2005 (ZULU), Sarah wrote:

No worries - is that the Winnipeg Sun? Or does London have a Sun, too?

Now, you want to talk about incomprehensible behaviour, here's something I can't understand... watch this and tell me what FEMA's problem is. Why are they turning away water and fuel? Why are they cutting emergency lines?

On Sun Sep 4 22:25:37 2005 (ZULU), Our friend Humble Pie Eatin' slade wrote:

Sorry, Sarah. I have to use more sources when I read the news. The papers don't always cover stuff - or I read a copy of the Sun and it doesn't cover stuff. Like news. I guess disaster just brings out the evil opportunist in a lot of people. Eeeew.

On Sun Sep 4 02:26:06 2005 (ZULU), Sarah wrote:

Maybe there were too many stories...

Tsunami survivors now fear rape


Sri Lanka Churches Worried about Looting in Tsunami Hit Areas"


Earthquake hits India - Three youths rape quake-affected woman"

On Sat Sep 3 22:11:53 2005 (ZULU), Our friend Slade wrote:

Well, I could be wrong. I'm certainly rather prejudiced. But, did I miss all the stories of lootings, rape, shooting at rescuers after the tsunami? What about the last flooding in India? The last South American earthquake? Was it just not newsworthy to mention that the people in those places had run to the nearest hospitals to loot them of all the available narcotics? Or that they were pillaging the nearest barracks/shop for weapons, jewelry, liquor, plasma screen tvs, etc? I think the New Orleans response to disaster has been bungled whole heartedly by the authorities - but I think that the people who are committing these acts are thoroughly reprehensible and in greater numbers than in other disaster stricken areas that I have heard of. (not counting Baghdad the day after the americans "liberated" the city). Or, and I mean this quite literally and honestly, is it just that the US media love to play up whatever crappy thing is happening in the news and didn't cover the other disaster places well enough to get material on this sort of thing happening there? I'd believe that if you tried to sell it to me on a toothpick, Ms. Constible. Mr. Reedy - the play is called "The stars that play with laughing Sam's dice" by Robert Calvert.

On Fri Sep 2 19:04:01 2005 (ZULU), Chris wrote:

Sladey baby, what's the name of your play?

On Fri Sep 2 14:18:16 2005 (ZULU), Sarah wrote:

Slade, I love you, but I have to disagree with you. There're a lot of things that happen only in America, but mass panic after having to spend a week in those conditions (no food, no water, dead bodies everywhere, an indifferent president) is not one of them.

On Thu Sep 1 21:03:20 2005 (ZULU), Our friend slade wrote:

Ummm. So, New Orleans sinks beneath the waves and the first thing the survivors do is to loot Wal-Mart for guns and ammo and then loot hospitals for drugs. And shoot at the helicopters coming in to pick them up and take them to safety. Only in America. I shit you not. Only in America would people do this. My flabber is now well and truly gasted. Eeps.

On Thu Sep 1 17:17:39 2005 (ZULU), Chris wrote:

Forgive my delayed response - I have been deathly ill [a bad cold]and as you all well know, I'm addicted to opium. In answer to your question 'why is the CBC so damned special,' David Asper, let me say this: The CBC is our national public broadcaster and it is trying to fulfill a role - not always successfully - indeed, I would agree, on the TV side far less successfully - a role that for whatever reason is not being fulfilled by the commercial broadcast industry.
Public broadcasting is about fulfilling a national mandate. Private broadcasting is about making money. These are two different types of operations and therefore they have to operate slightly differently.
There is a standard of journalist excellence at the CBC that is unparalleled at any other private network in Canada. No other broadcaster does investigative journalism in Canada as frequently as the CBC does. TV and radio being such widely accessed media, I think it's important to have publicly funded TV and radio networks that keep their eyes on the big institutions in this country and abroad. It's one of the checks you have to have in a strong, open democracy. And then there's the issue of encouraging a national cultural voice that can be heard above the mega-amplified American media machine. Who's going to bother with that if the CBC doesn't? CTV or Global with their nightly parade of TV USA? Nope.
Sure - CBC drops the ball frequently, but who's even going to try to carry it if we don't? We are different from commercial broadcasters and must operate differently - I think that's especially obvious and true of CBC Radio.
I think, to run an institution such as the CBC it helps to have people with permanent jobs. It attracts people of the right quality - with the right level of dedication. It also helps to have people onboard with a certain amount of career wisdom. The union is willing to allow a reasonable amount of contract and casual labour at the CBC, but management wants to be able to make virtually all jobs at the CBC contract or casual. Currently about one third of CBC employees are contract or casual. It is my understanding, that the vast majority of that group - myself included - are casual - with no contract whatsoever. I've worked for the CBC since about the fall of 1999 and never once had any kind of contract. Before I was locked out I produced content that reached about a million people every day nationally on CBC Radio One. I'm entrusted with that responsibility, yet not given even a short-term contract? It doesn't seem quite right to me.

On Thu Sep 1 11:45:33 2005 (ZULU), Our friend Slade wrote:

Ok. While it is not as important as Chris' struggle for justice and the survival of a CBC that actually means something, I do have a small update. A visit to http://www.thestage.co.uk/reviews/ will allow you to read the review of my first show in London. Also, it gives you a chance to look around at a rather helpful website. And, rather than posting the review here - it forces you to care enough to go and look. thus relieving me of the burden of "bragging" and you of the tedium of reading something you don't care a fig about. We now return you to Episode 7 of "Chris the Picket" on CBC.

On Wed Aug 31 12:18:55 2005 (ZULU), Our friend David Asper wrote:

Gord still has friends? That he talks to?

On Wed Aug 31 05:31:21 2005 (ZULU), Mike wrote:

Thoughts to all the Bayou brothers and sisters.

On Wed Aug 31 01:54:24 2005 (ZULU), Sarah wrote:

David Asper, you make a very good point. And, I hear, a Brassadeau that's to die for.

"Why should Joe Taxpayer©® be exceptionally concerned if now all of a sudden CBC workers are in the same boat as him?"

He shouldn't! He should be concerned about the boat! Who made this boat? Why are we all in it? Were we born in it? I'm pretty sure our parents weren't in it, but I don't know!

I myself have no job security. I flit about from this to that. It's not important to me --But that's only because I am immune to all illness and my bones are made of rubber and I can withstand the most extreme temperatures in nothing but a blouse and pant combo. Not everyone's like me. Some people need "houses" or "food" for their "children". There must be a way for these humans to collect their items.

Why doesn't everybody strike? Shut down the country until we can ALL go to the dentist. It's time to put the ion back in union! That's a little joke for Gord's friends. They'll get it.

On Mon Aug 29 18:41:25 2005 (ZULU), Our friend David Asper wrote:

Read,

Sorry to hear that you're locked out. On the one hand, it would be nice if everyone who wanted one could have a meaningful job for the length of their career, in the field of their choice, and could make a decent buck at it.

On the other hand, lots of non-unionized people live this life year after year, always in danger of being "downsized" or "right sized or "made redundant", etc. and being forced to seek new work every year or two. Why should Joe Taxpayer©® be exceptionally concerned if now all of a sudden CBC workers are in the same boat as him? Contact an MP? Why, what's the urgency (to people that don't depend on a CBC paycheque, of course)?

It's not like the mail isn't moving, the electricity and water aren't available, firefighters aren't standing by. To most people, this isn't a crisis. An inconvenience and an annoyance.

Marketing messed up on your product? Too bad, out you go! Sales team didn't put any effort into your release? Ooops, sorry, bye! Executives wouldn't pay to register your patent and now your competition is eating into your revenue? You're done, get out of here! CEO bought another company that does what you do? Well, it's time for you to part ways with the firm...

Some people are under the delusion that Dilbert is a comic strip. Man, it's 100% pure documentary, a transcript of what working life can be like for some.

I'd like to think that something good can be salvaged from this situation, but I don't see it. CBC executives come across as a bunch of knobs, lose all credibility, and damage the Corp's reputation. CBC rank and file eventually go back to work in a poisoned environment and probably most of them are on contract perpetually with no benefits, no pension, no job security, etc. CBC might get their listeners back, but TV viewers have moved on to other channels.

Don't misunderstand me, you steaming hot head, people are sympathetic about being locked out and about the increase in contract work. Just not overwrought over the loss of the broadcast services.

On Sun Aug 28 23:52:03 2005 (ZULU), Gord wrote:

Good news everyone! Everyone, good news! A message we've all been waiting for! Sadly, I could not finish reading it. Somebody let me know what happens after the second paragraph. I'm pretty sure it's good news though.

On Fri Aug 26 00:38:39 2005 (ZULU), Sarah wrote:

I saw Chris on CTV! He was picketing and pummeling at Green Gates.

On Thu Aug 25 14:11:19 2005 (ZULU), Our friend Slade wrote:

Oh, for the love of Crap. Has the CBC learned nothing over the years? Have corporations anywhere learned anything? Why is a loss situation always met with this knee-jerk reaction to cut the people who do the actual work? I agree with Tanner, Read. Push it to that person! or twig it to that twat... strike out at the entity? Well, Gord said it well anyway. Do that thing to that other person. Somehow!

On Wed Aug 24 18:07:29 2005 (ZULU), Chris wrote:

...and Joff Schmidt and I are to provide some comedy...if we can come up with something.

On Wed Aug 24 18:03:44 2005 (ZULU), Chris wrote:

I don't know when the CMG news site will go up - but I do know that we are to produce an hour of radio for CKUW - 95.9 FM - on Friday. From 8 til 9 AM. Right before Amy Goodman's Democracy Now.

On Tue Aug 23 23:20:20 2005 (ZULU), Sarah wrote:

When does CBC Unplugged come online?

On Tue Aug 23 04:50:57 2005 (ZULU), Gord wrote:

Stick it to the man, Read! And while you're at it, stick it to the ungodly corporate monster as well. And stick it to the holier-than-thou godly people who get in my face. And then, stick it to the sticks. Watch out Straw Man, you're next!

Everyone send emails like Chris says. Do it, people.

On Mon Aug 22 23:37:38 2005 (ZULU), Chris wrote:

Dear friends, As I'm sure you've heard, I've been locked out by the CBC. So instead of doing my job this week, I've been walking a picket line. I believe in the public broadcaster, so I'm asking for your support. First, let me tell you what we're fighting for. This dispute isn't about money. It's not about benefits. My colleagues and I have been locked out because CBC management wants the right to contract out all new work at the corporation "without restriction". It would never have to hire a permanent staff member again. It's a major step towards creating a disposable workforce, one the corporation can hire and fire at whim, practically without any recourse for the employee, regardless of job performance. In the long run, it could mean that all CBC programs would be produced by profit-oriented companies. To me, it's an issue worth fighting about. Management claims it's being "fiscally reponsible" with your tax dollars. In reality, it has been expanding the ranks of overpaid managers, while reducing the number of people who are actually producing the programming. You may think that the shows you're hearing on CBC Radio this week aren't so bad. Don't be fooled. You're hearing a mix of programs. Some of it is produced by management. The bulk of it is repeats of shows prepared by me and my colleagues before we were out on the street. We want to resolve this dispute as quickly as possible. We think loyal CBC listeners deserve the high-quality programming they've come to expect. I could really use your help. PLEASE take a few minutes to e-mail or send a fax to CBC Vice President Jane Chalmers and federal Heritage Minister Liza Frulla. Let them know that you value CBC Radio, and that you support the thousands of CBC producers, reporters and technicians who have been locked out. Encourage them to resolve this labor dispute quickly. Jane Chalmers, Vice President of English Radio, CBC: email: Jane_Chalmers@cbc.ca fax: 416.205.3573 Hon. Liza Frulla, Minister of Canadian Heritage email: Frulla.L@parl.gc.ca fax: 613-995-6404 phone: 613-995-6403 Also, please get in touch with federal Industry Minister Joe Fontana and urge him to legislate us back to work, because of the essential service the CBC provides to Canadians. email: Fontana.J@parl.gc.ca phone: (613) 992-0805 fax: (613) 992-9613 And finally, please forward this to other CBC Radio fans in your contact list. We need every bit of help we can get!

On Thu Aug 18 20:52:19 2005 (ZULU), Our friend Yes, Slade wrote:

And, I forgot. I love all of you for the letter which Klassen finally sent me and I got a couple of days ago. Sarah, I love you. Gord, I love you. Those of you who did not write. I have written your names down on The List. So I will Never forget.

On Thu Aug 18 20:50:42 2005 (ZULU), Our friend Still Slade wrote:

Oh, and I was updating my CV on The Spotlight (which, sadly you cannot see as you are not a registered member!) but I thought that I would let you know that the photo credit under my head shot reads "Photo: Gord Tanner". How about them apples?

On Thu Aug 18 11:24:25 2005 (ZULU), Our friend Suede wrote:

Deaw Gowd: Oh, Yes. It wouwd be wovewy to have you fwying awound the wawws duwing weheawsals. what fun! And you couwd vomit on the donuts and dwink them! Sorry - momentary Homestar slip there. Um, yes. It's actually two weeks of rehearsal, but only one week "full time" and that only because me and the other actor have taken the week off of our paid work to do this. He's young, I'm new in town... we need the exposure. So, I'm playing an American Army Sargeant. And I just had an audition for another play - a paid one - playing.... an American Soldier. Hmmm. A sad trend is developing here. Still, work is work. Paid or not. As far as I know, the Christine is coming to town when I do for a visit with her fambly while I cavort with you lot. Yeeeeha! Oops - must run to rehearse! Love Slade

On Thu Aug 18 04:10:37 2005 (ZULU), Gord wrote:

Slaaaaade! You're doing a play in England-land! That's fantastic! Those crusty bastards don't deserve you. And what's with the one week rehearsal? Standard issue in the Motherland? We are beginning to count the days until your arrival back home. (Approximately 7.5 x 10^6) Hope you are both rancidly well. Is Christine going to forage Winnipegward while you are here? Hey, you wanna know the crap thing about me doing Guys and Dolls? I'm going to miss your show. Maybe I can sneak into a rehearsal at some point. Fly-wallwise speaking.

On Wed Aug 17 21:30:01 2005 (ZULU), Our friend Ummm Slade wrote:

I will not be President of the US in 2008. Although the new laws will allow all of you to become President sadly, it has a specific clause (no. 945-372-ii-a) which prohibits those of us with "satanic or non-Christian tattoos") from holding office. Not that I would wish to hold the office anyway. Have you seen how large it is? I bet it weighs a ton. How DID Gord log on from a gas station in Blib Blooptomian, Manitoba anyway? He dodged that question as successfully as any primate in the cage dodges the flung fecal matter of one of its companions. Sarah, what does Nathan have to say about May Pole dancing? If the Pole uses no straw, does it give no offence? We have a Jack Straw here in the British Parliament. Are they related? I haven't heard any England Dan (or John Ford Coley) for ages. I have heard a stunning amount of Jimi Hendrix lately, as I am rehearsing my first play in England. "The stars that play with laughing Sam's dice" - written by the late lead singer of Hawkwind and first produced at the same theatre (the Pentameters in Hampstead) over 20 years ago! It opens next week so I have to learn the lines before then. Gits. These people have no appreciation for improvisation. But I will learn them. I will learn them but good. Loves to you all.

On Wed Aug 17 19:38:49 2005 (ZULU), Gord wrote:

I heard that by 2008 we'll all actually get to be the president. By which I mean we'll receive email notification from teenage kids in Germany purporting to be high ranking US election officials that we have all been elected President of the United States. The joke, of course, will be on the teenage hackers who, unbeknownst to themselves will actually be high ranking US election officials at this point, thanks to an amendment to the US constitution. The same amendment will also turn the US marines into dragons. And make blinking illegal. And mandatory.

Bring on the cowbell!

On Wed Aug 17 17:36:23 2005 (ZULU), Sarah wrote:

It might seem like a hoax, what with Walken himself saying, "It's a hoax! Sheesh!", but I have a feeling that by 2008, you might still get to vote for him. By that time, the whole world will get to participate in an on-line election, voting as many times as you wish for anyone you want(email required). This exercise will teach us the value of democracy; the importance of the people. And when Bush starts his third term, we can look at each other and proudly claim, "We did this!"

On Wed Aug 17 12:40:46 2005 (ZULU), Our friend Morley Walker wrote:

Ha, you can't fool us, that wasn't Sarah posting, she's never posted a link before in her life. Too busy worrying about beaning baseball pitchers with her mighty swing...

I've got election fever, and the only cure is more cowbell in the White House!

I don't think Walken's really running. The WWW site looks and smells like a hoax (what's that about starting the campaign on the internet so that the media doesn't know about it? Doesn't make sense...).

Some others think this looks a little phoney as well.

http://www.zap2it.com/movies/news/story/0,1259,---26540,00.html

http://washingtontimes.com/upi/20050815-094627-5892r.htm

But I heard that Jessica Simpson is gearing up for a run in 2008! No one's told her that the constitution says you can't be president until you're at least 35 years old.

On Mon Aug 15 16:41:21 2005 (ZULU), Sarah wrote:

Just in case you were wondering, Christopher Walken is running for president.

On Mon Aug 8 16:53:26 2005 (ZULU), Our friend fun with audio wrote:

Orson Welles and his crumb-crisp coating.

On Mon Aug 8 15:26:47 2005 (ZULU), Our friend Gabriel, the Sad One wrote:

Peter Jennings passed away.

On Mon Aug 8 03:42:19 2005 (ZULU), Chris wrote:

What the cripes are you doing going on the internet in BlipBloopinton, Manitober? You got some kinda new fancy ass shit u ain't told us aboot?

On Mon Aug 8 00:06:35 2005 (ZULU), Our friend Nathan Dilligent wrote:

Ha! Ad Epicuronium! And by the way, this picture looks nothing like me. It's quite shameful. Could you please let me choose my own photo? One that brings out my eyes?

On Sat Aug 6 00:37:05 2005 (ZULU), Gord wrote:

Jinkies! Stedroy Crump's roast duck? I begin to believe that either we have more than one "secret sharer", or that Brian Dentry's desire to find fresh new old chestnuts is greater than I ever imagined. And by "chestnuts" I mean Stedroy Crump's nuts.

I'm writing from the Husky station on the Trans-Canada, just about to re-disappear into the wilderness. Dilligent? See you at the Critter-Dip Sunday morning? There'll be dip.

On Fri Aug 5 15:09:03 2005 (ZULU), Our friend Karina Grywinski wrote:

Tanner, I don't think you're allowed to make Internet jokes unless you've cleared them with Borg first. He has the Canadian rights to all Internet-related comedic references.

Speaking of screwing Sarah's punch (and when I say "punch", I mean "shaggy wood bison"), I hear that us Canadians are not allowed to import some of this restricted fine literature.

You theatrical types are spoiling it for us all! It's your fault we can't read "Casual Sex Volume 5"!

Gordon, see you at the camp site? I'm bringing Stedroy, he says he has some roast duck he wants to share with you.

On Fri Aug 5 07:05:50 2005 (ZULU), Gord wrote:

Screw Sarah's punch? You can find that sort of stuff on this very internet, if you're so inclined. I found out when I checked the domain availability for the band I'm hoping to form with Chris. Fists of Love. Try it, you'll see I'm lying. And by it, I mean lying. Could somebody ask Chris for me if he wants to form a band called Fists of Love?

Dilligent, you're a nasty piece of business. And your straw composition should be the least of your worries. You wanna know the secret to making really great punch? Ad populum.

On Thu Aug 4 18:47:53 2005 (ZULU), Our friend Vice Vandal wrote:

Check... fuck'n check... check one... two... check... fuck'n check... fuck'n... fuck check... check fuck'n... check'n fuck... one fuck... two fuck... red fuck...blue fuck... check...

On Wed Aug 3 20:01:09 2005 (ZULU), Our friend Karina Grywinski wrote:

Gord, I'll play Britt Ekland to your Edward Woodward anytime...

Screw Sarah's punch, I'll bring the cocoa, see you there!

PS Sarah's choice of the term "brick shit house" was hilarious --- I had to look it up to make certain it means what I thought it means (shades of Inigo Montoya there):
http://dictionary.reference.com/search?r=2&q=brick%20shithouse

On Wed Aug 3 18:42:26 2005 (ZULU), Sarah wrote:

Nathan politely declines your offer, Gord, as he is made of straw. He suspects you're trying to trick him into becoming a pagan sacrifice. He does, however, invite you to his Brick Man ritual, where one lucky soul shall be entombed within a brick shit house while Nathan and his friends circle about, chanting, "Hu-Man-Ure! Hu-Man-Ure!". There will be punch.

On Wed Aug 3 17:14:05 2005 (ZULU), Gord wrote:

Just my luck. The log starts seeing more action than Karina Grywinski on a Friday night at Aubin's in 1985, (sorry Karina - that's likely not true anymore) and I leave town for a week. We're going camping at Spruce Woods. You're all welcome to join us. Sarah, tell Nathan that we'll be building a Wicker Man on the night of the full o' the moon, and he's welcome to come and throw the match.

On Wed Aug 3 16:59:31 2005 (ZULU), Sarah wrote:

Gord, Nathan says your introduction of his financial situation is simply a case of you poisoning the well. He also says he paid you back, and you still have his screener of The Serpent and the Rainbow. Your love of the hoodoo voodoo is a slap in God's face. God didn't even have a face until you conjured up one to slap.

On Wed Aug 3 15:50:36 2005 (ZULU), Chris wrote:

That's an interesting factoid about the Dakota gym change room and Orphan. I remember when the Vice Vandals played Hastings Junior High. Check! Fucken check! Check one - two! Fuck! Fucken check!

On Wed Aug 3 15:06:11 2005 (ZULU), Our friend Karina Grywinski, wrote:

Well, gee, if they play your theme song (http://www.cfhf.net/lyrics/james.htm) they've gotta play your high school prom. Although if he was 15, should he have been going to the high school prom?

So one question is, who sings your theme song? If it's sung by William Shatner that's gonna be one rockin' prom.

But the other question is, didn't you go to Dakota? I don't know about rockin' at Dakota. But Orphan's hit "Miracle" was written in the gym change room before a show there, way back when, so I guess that 25 years ago it saw it's share of the power chords.

On Wed Aug 3 14:46:39 2005 (ZULU), Mike wrote:

I remember when England Dan and John Ford Coley played at James' High School Prom in the short lived TV show "James at 15". Wow...what a lucky school. And they played their hit song too...

I'm not talkin about movin in'...and I don't wanna change your life...there's a warm wind blowin the stars around...and I'd really love to see you tonight...

On Wed Aug 3 00:42:08 2005 (ZULU), Gord wrote:

I heard that Cam and Rob are playing England Dan & John Ford Coley in a two-on-two match of "Pass the Dutchy (on the lefthand side)", to be officiated by Sarah's straw man Nathan Dilligent. The prize is a cupful of genueeene "English Cocoa" to be served by a band of poxy children.

Sarah, why is your ad hominem so abusive? God wants to know. Or, I suppose, he already does. Never mind. Tell Dilligent he owes me $10.75.

On Tue Aug 2 15:37:09 2005 (ZULU), Chris wrote:

Is it true that Cam and Rob are playing England Dan & John Ford Coley in the made-for-CKY TV movie about that very incident? I heard a rumour.

On Tue Aug 2 05:39:58 2005 (ZULU), Our friend Cammy Cakes wrote:

Anyhoo, realizing my two cents counts for shit 'round here, I think you should embrace this whole cocoa opportunity. Why? While most of you won't remember the cocoa crisis of 1974 I think for the benefit of all we should review those dark days. Three kids overdosed on low grade cocoa during an England Dan/John Ford Coley concert at the Keystone Centre in Brandon, causing widespread panic and a province wide ban on cocoa imports. For the rest of that winter, children all over Manitoba paid the ultimate price as existing retail inventory was destroyed and warnings issued over continued use of the cocoa on hand. Families like mine turned, in desparation, to Ovaltine and that shitty Safeway brand hot chocolate. You know, with the Count Chocula style mini marshmallows. Two of my sisters got the rickets and walk strangely to this day. If participating in a long-overdue investigation of cocoa imports and distribution in this province is the opportunity at hand, I say good luck and Godspeed people.

On Mon Aug 1 02:55:15 2005 (ZULU), Sarah wrote:

It's common knowledge that my Straw Man's name is Nathan Dilligent and I built my house of sticks. Why do you hate God, Gord?

On Mon Aug 1 02:35:19 2005 (ZULU), Gord wrote:

Okay, Sarah's a "Nay". And once again, as in "The case of Sarah vs. the Brown Stain", child slavery is the Straw Man living in her house of cards. It's chocolate, Sarah, children love chocolate.

On Sun Jul 31 18:47:07 2005 (ZULU), Sarah wrote:

I am dubious to the amount of cocoa the UK exports. Do they import it first from the Ivory Coast? And if they do, are they supporting child slavery?

On Sun Jul 31 06:44:16 2005 (ZULU), Gord wrote:

What do you say, people? Do we take the offer of GLOBAL IMPORT/EXPORT? They say it's not a very hard job. No expertise required. Set up a bank account. Meet other cocoa purveyors. I think it's what we've been moving toward all along.

All in favour? (I believe that quorum is required on a motion which takes us into the chocolate business. It's in our articles of incorporation. Or our royal charter. One of the two.)

On Sat Jul 30 19:17:51 2005 (ZULU), Our friend Catfish Hunter wrote:

Is this a competitive league? The ball is still in play, so the batter behaves as if it's any other play.

If you're playing to win in a pro league, the batter runs as far as he can... some other fielder will get the ball and try to stop him.

If this is a friendly league, it's not considered good sportsmanship to try to advance when a player on the other team is obviously injured. In some leagues the umpire would call the play dead as soon as a player was obviously hurt in a serious way. Getting hit in the head with a batted ball would usually count as seriously hurt.

On Sat Jul 30 15:12:41 2005 (ZULU), Sarah wrote:

I heave a basball question at you. If a batter beans a pitcher in the ear, knocking said pitcher to the ground, what should the batter do? Keep running? Stop at first? Try for a home run?

On Thu Jul 28 17:34:15 2005 (ZULU), Scott wrote:

In a somewhat tardy reply to Chris' query as to why I didn't go bannanas at Trish's show when the drunk fuck wouldn't shut her shut her goddamn mouth and her idiot entourage couldn't lay off the cheese logs and garlic bread I must confess, though the rage was high, I didn't cause a scene out of respect to Trish (I was in the second row, the douche-bags were in the first). Also, I thought they might be friends of Trish (they wondered aloud which real-life person from Mr. Greenjeans each character was... classy). Anyway to sooth myself I beat the shit out of homeless guy and his dog a little later that night. Oh and Chris, when you punch (a nose, or anything else), remember to punch "through" your target. And Sarah, leave the piping to the pipers thank you very much. On a final note, the drunks did not ruin the show for me, because Cooper stood fucking tall and rose above their shit. She's like Ghandi, but a drinker - which I'm really into. Peace muthafuckas.

On Thu Jul 28 12:13:24 2005 (ZULU), Our friend GLOBAL IMPORT/EXPORT COMPANY wrote:

Dear Sir/Madam,

I represent GLOBAL IMPORT/EXPORT COMPANY based in the UK. My company exports cocoa and other goods/services for world trade. What we really require is someone who can represent this company in Europe and America We have been having problems with clients in these regions because they are politely refusing to pay for shipments on one excuse or the other so we need a representative that can assist us in clearing our money in their respective countries.

Most of our customers pay out in cheques and we do not have an account in your country that will clear this money.

It is upon this note that we seek your assistance as our representative in your country.

Be informed that as our representative, you will receive 10% of whatever amount you clear for the company and the balance will be paid into an account we will avail to you. The second thing required of you would be for you to establish a relationship on behalf of our company with other cocoa industries in your country so that we can have new ideas and directions.

This job is rather easy and does not require a lot of expertise.

If you are interested in this business offer, please email me to begin.

On Sun Jul 24 04:33:37 2005 (ZULU), Chris wrote:

Vishnu is trying to persuade the Prince that he should do his duty and to impress him takes on his multi-armed form and says, "Now, I am become Death, the destroyer of worlds." I suppose we all thought that one way or another.

On Fri Jul 22 18:30:17 2005 (ZULU), Gord wrote:

Hey, guess what everybody! We finally got high speed! This doesn't mean that I have changed my own personal speed. Which is "slow". Slow like a retarded person. By which I mean to say, perhaps, a person whose progress up some stairs has been retarded by the presence of a strong wind, or perhaps molasses. Or a large retarded person who is blocking their way.

Slade and Christine are okay. But London? Is it okay?

Unrelated happy thought:Let's all go and see Trish's show!
But not together.

On Wed Jul 20 02:53:08 2005 (ZULU), Chris wrote:

http://www.guardian.co.uk/weekend/story/0,3605,1523143,00.html

This is interesting. I'm just reading Ronson's new book, btw. The Men Who Stare at Goats.

On Tue Jul 19 22:25:06 2005 (ZULU), Our friend Mordor wrote:

Gums once taught me that today's i is tomorrow's truth, and today's truth is tomorrow's pudding snack, which makes today's life Tuesday's pudding snack and today's pudding snack a lie. Not like in the 50s. Lie was a straight lie back then.

On Tue Jul 19 22:24:11 2005 (ZULU), Our friend Mordor wrote:

Gums once taught me that today's lie is tomorrow's truth, and today's truth is tomorrow's pudding snack, which makes today's lie Tuesday's pudding snack and today's pudding snack a lie. Not like in the 50s. Life was a straight line back then.

On Tue Jul 19 22:22:52 2005 (ZULU), Our friend Mordor wrote:

Gums once taught me that today's lie is tomorrow's truth, and today's truth is tomorrow's pudding snack, which makes today's lie Tuesday's pudding snack and today's pudding snack is a lie. Not like in the 50s. Life was a straight line back then.

On Tue Jul 19 16:07:55 2005 (ZULU), Sarah wrote:

Scott once showed me how to whittle a flute from a willow twig. I already knew how (I thought), but Scott said my craftmanship was shit.

On Tue Jul 19 15:27:22 2005 (ZULU), Chris wrote:

Scott once showed me how to punch someone so that the nose bone would be driven up into the person's brain - and kill them. I already knew how to do that [thanks Dad], but it was good to be reminded.

On Mon Jul 18 16:28:53 2005 (ZULU), Chris wrote:

How come Montgum didn't go into action? He fantasizes about situations like that - plays them out in front of his bathroom mirror.

On Mon Jul 18 13:20:46 2005 (ZULU), Trish wrote:

Congratulations Gord!Sue me Sue me why don't you do me? I am on my way to Winnipeg. Cant wait to see all of my peeps. my tight perm is dying to beat up mike. Oh chris.Will you have a barbeque and make those yummy chips? Also I am doing my show at the fringe "The Comment Card".Scott saw it in Toronto. Unfortunately drunk lady yelling at me through the whole show ruined his enjoyment.I wish Slade was around. Who will host the Jennys?

On Mon Jul 11 20:41:59 2005 (ZULU), Our friend Slade wrote:

I say: Gord is amazing. Let us all celebrate the joy of his having landed a way cool gig. If any of you other Liechtensteiners have a cool gig. I say you, too, are amazing. Weehaa and Booyaa to y'all.

On Mon Jul 11 18:12:09 2005 (ZULU), Chris wrote:

I think this is someone's way of telling us he is Nathan Detroit in the upcoming MTC production of Guy's and Dolls. Congratulations Gord! I have a feeling you are fulfilling one of your childhood dreams. And that's usually a good thing.

On Sat Jul 9 19:38:04 2005 (ZULU), Our friend Choir of Angels wrote:

There are well-heeled shooters
everywhere, everywhere
There are well-heeled shooters everywhere.
And an awful lot of lettuce
For the fella who can get us there.
If we only had a lousy little grand
We could be a millionaire!
That's good old reliable Nathan!
Nathan, Nathan, Nathan, Detroit!
If the size of your bundle you want to increase
He'll arrange that you go broke in quiet and peace
In a hideout provided by Nathan
Where there are no neighbors to squawk.
It's the oldest established permanent floating
Crap game in New York.
Where's the action? Where's the game?
Gotta have the game
Of we'll die from shame.
It's the oldest established, permanent floating
Crap game in New York!

On Sat Jul 9 00:44:54 2005 (ZULU), Chris wrote:

I'm thinking about giving the new Weezer album Make Believe a spot in my all-time top 5. Am I crazy? Have I gone mad? Someone tell me I'm wrong. Have I taken leaveth of mineth sensory apparati...? It's a great fucken album. I think this guy Rivers Cuomo is the new Brian Wilson.

On Thu Jul 7 20:40:59 2005 (ZULU), Gord wrote:

Hello, everybody.

I'd planned some really big blockbuster comeback entry into the log. One that would blow the lid off of... something. Corporate imperialism, something big like that. And it would be really funny, too. And bittersweet. And partly, it would have been for the children. Oh well.

Thank god Slade & Christine are ok.

On Thu Jul 7 18:17:43 2005 (ZULU), Our friend An Slade wrote:

Dear all of you: Today was a horrible tragedy, but Christine and I escaped unscathed. She did not have to go into the city, fortunately - or would have been on the train at Liverpool Station. My bus was unscathed - though I was sent home early, as Mme. Tussaud's is only a short distance from Edgeware Station. All I can do is feel a sick kind of sympathy for those injured and killed and a sick kind of anger at the people who did this. I don't know what kind of joke to post at this point. "What do you call a bus load of terrorists plunging off a cliff?" - "A good start". Best wishes and affection to all of you. Slade

On Thu Jul 7 12:29:09 2005 (ZULU), Sarah wrote:

I'm hoping we hear from Slade soon-- There are scary reports coming out of London of a bombing. Slade, are you and yours okay? Write home! Tell us a joke!

On Wed Jul 6 15:16:56 2005 (ZULU), Chris wrote:

Thank you for that Michael. The other day I told Mike I'd seen the Postman Alwasy Rings Twice onstage in London - starring Val Kilmer. I wondered about the name - it seemed to have nothing to do with the story - so Mike took it upon himself to do the research. Pip Pip old boy. Jolly good.

On Wed Jul 6 02:13:11 2005 (ZULU), Our friend Nobby wrote:

Wouldn't it be The Postman always Rings Fourteen to Fifteen Times Minimum?

On Wed Jul 6 01:43:31 2005 (ZULU), Mike wrote:

Read, nowhere in the novel, or the film, is the phrase "the postman always rings twice" used. But the story goes...James M. Cain's novel was rejected something like 14-15 times. So when a publisher finally picked it up...he asked Cain what title he wanted. Cain chose "The Postman Always Rings Twice"...in reference to his rejected manuscripts always being delivered back to him.

On Tue Jul 5 20:37:01 2005 (ZULU), Scott wrote:

Chris' pants would be super tight -like to-the-bone tight. The muscle and tissue in his legs would be forced upwards causing his crotch to swell into an enormous obscenity. Gord's pants would glisten with ultra-shine and sweat, he would wear them without a shirt or shoes and all his exposed skin would be greased up. Mike's pants would be a fleshy colour. My tight pants would still look baggy and sad.

On Tue Jul 5 20:29:37 2005 (ZULU), Sarah wrote:

It's all natural.

On Tue Jul 5 17:18:14 2005 (ZULU), Chris wrote:

I'd love to see Sarah with a nice tight perm. Why does it seem like I'm making an obscene joke when I'm not? I think it would be nice to see all the girls in the troupe with nice tight perms. The boys can wear tight pants. Sarah would be shy about her perm and that would be sweet. Trish would be loud and bossy with her perm and would beat up Mike. Mike might rip his too-tight pants. Dawn would be stoic and judgmental. Her perm would be the tightest. This definitely has a vague hue of obscenity about it doesn't it? I'm sorry. I am Damon Albarn.

On Tue Jul 5 00:12:28 2005 (ZULU), Scott wrote:

I saw Sarah last night in a dream. She and I were sitting in the Next Act (a bar in Edmonton) and eating that shitty bar popcorn that makes you thirsty. She was good ole Sarah in all ways but one - in the dream she had a really lousy perm... like super tight and dry looking. She told me it was for a part and I started laughing, then dream Sarah got mad and told me she'd never really liked me. What does it mean log people?

On Mon Jul 4 23:28:24 2005 (ZULU), Sarah wrote:

I saw Chris today. He looked like the lead singer from Blur. Yeow!

On Mon Jul 4 19:28:16 2005 (ZULU), Chris wrote:

I saw Gord this weekend. I knocked on his door and he came outside to assist in a matter involving a gorilla-man and its ex-girlfriend. God bless the Tannercop. Gord, why don't you post your cop-notes on what happened Saturday afternoon...

On Sat Jul 2 18:22:26 2005 (ZULU), Our friend Tom Cruise wrote:

I hear he's changed his name to Xenu.

On Fri Jul 1 16:29:36 2005 (ZULU), Our friend Linus wrote:

I heard he created a new dimension, the Tanner dimension, but that there's only room for three. O day, O day.

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